i still am (or am i?)

felt like doing this again. a week later and a chapter wiser. am i?

i am . . .

i am: up too late, again.
i think: i could really be happy writing for a living.

i know: how to raise one eyebrow at a time.

i want: an English Setter.
i have: an invitation to read one of my poems on Thursday night and for some reason, i cannot commit to it. why?
i wish: i could have two years off work to write and have babies.
i hate: sweet pickles.
i miss: my Grandma Dorothy. she's too far away.
i fear: that i will have trouble getting unemployment pay. [last week's was: losing my job. a ha ha ha.]
i feel: like taking the summer off. shhh - Scott'll have an aneurysm.
i hear: the fridge making its night sounds - translation: go to bed.
i smell: mold - it's settling into the grass, so hot and damp and muggy. it's killing my allergies.
i crave: sweets, pretty much all the time.
i search: the internet for interesting jobs close to home.
i wonder: how the stars feel. (celestial, not Hollywood)
i regret: not pursuing the Communications major in college - and frankly can't remember what changed my mind about it.
"i love: you" is the most powerful phrase on earth.
i ache: most days. fibromyalgia will do that to ya. lately it's OK.
i care: about my fellow bloggers. that strikes me as odd and sweet and freakish and scary and human all at the same time. you?
i always: double check my work. unless i don't.
i am not: too old to become a mother. but i did get the brochure.
i believe: in the power of ... (ellipses)
i dance: to stay sane.
i sing: to worship a God i can't name.
i cry: when i see humans being really good to each other.
i don’t always: order a turkey sandwich. but i usually do.
i fight: with myself more than anyone.

i write: and i feel alive.
i win: the prize at longest string of crap jobs that don't make sense with the price tag on my education.
i lose: sight of scott when i get caught up in bossing him around.
i never: forget to lock the door. if it's unlocked, i meant to do that.
i confuse: people sometimes when i "talk-to-think" - my words can't keep up with my thoughts and i leave out some connecting details.
i listen: to country music now, and i absolutely love it.
i can usually be found: with this laptop burning my lap at night. why do they get so hot underneath?
i am scared: of being wrong about God after all.
i need: to feel appreciated and recognized in order to feel content. say what you will, i just do.
i am happy about: the possibility that life could be very long and i could work out several of my dilemmas before it's over.

what about "i hope"?
i hope: scott and i can still go on our vacation. [for a discussion on hope, see this. for a discussion on my vacation, see this.]
i'm grateful for: my nieces, my husband, Tippy, and you.

Und du?

~Al