Every little thing

Every little thing now feels like a miracle. Today I got the news that my second genetic blood test came back negative, which means no sign of risk for neural tube defects. For those of you not in the baby world, this means, no big chance of having a child with severe developmental problems or physical and mental defects at birth. I breathe a sigh of relief, but it is so much more than that.

How could this baby not have a major life-threatening problem? How could this baby be so healthy and growing at a perfectly steady rate? How could there be a baby inside me??

It is a miracle every time I think of it.

You might say these thoughts are morbid or pessimistic, or even creepy. But these are the true thoughts and fears of motherhood. The books warned me about it. What they don't tell you about is the sheer joy and elation when your baby seems to be coming along fine! It puts everything else in perspective.

I am feeling good and also grateful. I am achy, yes, and growing a huge belly and boobs at an alarming rate. Things hurt in places I have never felt before. I'm not even sure what all is in there, even after the informative and beautiful National Geographic video I watched called "In the Womb." I have trouble sleeping and wake up at 4 a.m. for an urgent trip to the cereal bowl with three Charlie horses in my leg at once! My clothes don't fit; I can't move the driver's seat back far enough so I don't have to worry that a sudden airbag deployment will crush my tummy...

BUT THE BABY IS HEALTHY. Ahhhhhhhh. Thank you Jesus!

All is well.

I have not experienced morning sickness. This is incredible in itself. I am doing okay with pain management, despite not being able to take most of my helpful pain meds that usually quell my fibromyalgia. I am really enjoying all foods, without heartburn, and still able to put my leg up on the bathroom counter every morning to stretch. Though bending down for the damn soap, which I drop EVERY DAY in the shower is getting a little challenging.

Scott and I are in midst of a several-month cleanse and purge of the house. Calling all garage salers - come May, there will be one big-ass yard sale on Mom's front lawn in Laconia. The only things that will survive the purge are items of rare beauty, blessed practicality, or deep love. Oh, and the baby warehouse I have amassed over the last 14 years.

Baby will get his/her own room. The rest of us will jam ourselves and our belongings into the other two rooms of the house.

BUT THE BABY IS HEALTHY!

Oh, and we thank God and the universe, and all the well wishes and cosmic goodness being sent our way from you and all you represent.

Coming soon into our future: maternity jeans; the dreaded putting together of the crib and IKEA bookshelves; carpet cleaning ala a rented Rug Doctor; finding out the sex of the baby (hopefully!) next week; the need for an old-lady shelf grabber thingy so when I can no longer bend over and get back up, I can still retrieve everything I've dropped; soap-on-a-rope!; an expected spontaneous purchase of a little outfit in pink (or blue) after finding out the sex; and as "What to Expect..." predicts, "continued absentmindedness." Niiiice.

Oh, did I mention I can feel the little booger moving around now? It's week 19 and I feel him/her every day. Not kicking or anything like that, but just moving. My little rock. My little fishie. My little Bun.

I am singing to him/her every day and also playing the lullaby tapes that will one day lull him/her to sleep (God only hopes).

So that's me and the Bun, in a nutshell. "Where he kept her very well..."

Love, Ally

The art of losing

I heard this poem while rewatching "In Her Shoes" - great movie and even better book by Jennifer Weiner. Beautiful...

One Art

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster,

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three beloved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

-- Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) a disaster.

~Elizabeth Bishop

Changes

1. My friend had a baby! A preemie and both she and mom are doing fine.

2. I am on vacation this week. Not "vacation from my problems," just vacation from my job! :)

3. I watched the movie Trust the Man twice last week and it was hilarious both times! Rent it!

4. This month, I am taking a baby making drug that will hopefully help us get pregnant.

5. Did not get the job I interviewed for last week - sorry about that. Will keep trying.

6. It is August.

7. Mom is leaving soon for Mexico. I am gathering goodies for the various birthdays they will celebrate there.

8. Mom's house is on the market. It's a winner so check it out!

9. We got to see fireworks at the Pittsfield Balloon Rally on Saturday night, and they were spectacular - like no other fireworks!

10. I am planning a beach day this week if the weather cooperates (and maybe even if it doesn't).

~Ally

Making Marie's Apple Pie

(all photos by Scott Snyder) 

On Monday, I had the pleasure of making Marie's wonderful Apple Crumble Pie - the recipe can be found on her blog, A Year From Oak Cottage. 

My dear husband and my mom Charlotte - my pie making assistant - LOVED this pie! Scott says it is better than my usual, and he was a pretty big fan of my previous apple pies. So I suppose I will be using Marie's recipe from now on! The only thing I added was a dash of ground cloves to the apple mixture and some pats of butter to dot the top of the apples once in the pie crust, but before the crumb topping was added.
These three top pictures are the before shots, with a delicious mound of crumbs toppling over in a blessed heap.
And this is the after. Browned beautifully. I cooked the pie on 375 Fahrenheit - about 25 minutes, then added foil to cover the outer crust, and cooked an additional 20ish minutes until I could hear the filling bubbling under the crumbs.
Deeeeee-licious! With Boston Vanilla Bean ice cream alongside, we had a slice of heaven on a Monday night. We enjoyed this pie while watching "Milk," a film I highly recommend.

Thanks for sharing your recipe, Marie! We all loved it!

~Ally

Two Others

Wow, I could swear I reviewed

The Visitor (2007, starring Richard Jenkins)

and

Then She Found Me

previously. Maybe I am losing my mind (not at all unlikely). Anyway, those two movies are phenomenal.

~Ally

Some Movies You May Like

Thought I'd do a few brief movie reviews/recommendations. These are some goodies Scott and I have seen recently.

W - ****4
What can I say about this movie except: SEE IT. If you have any interest in politics, and particularly in the Bush administration, you really must see this film. Josh Brolin does an incredible George W. and James Cromwell is brilliant, as always, playing Big George Bush. This movie explores the life of W. from about the age of 20 to almost the end of his presidency. It delves into all we have been wondering and were kept in the dark - George's family life, what it was like being Big George's son (and following in his footsteps), what Laura is like, and why W. made some of the choices he did.

One of the biggest themes is W.'s inability to please his father, and constant desire to do so. The film also dares to uncover some uncomfortable political relationships, like that between the Bush administration and Colin Powell. W.'s relationship with Dick Cheney, uncannily delivered by Richard Dreyfuss, was explored and his coaching from Karl Rove, played by Toby Jones, was clearly conveyed.

Very, very interesting, not at all dull, this movie will intrigue those with even the mildest interest in politics. NOT a documentary, this is a drama, with weight on the personal life and motivations of our most recent President. Josh Brolin NAILED the accent and mannerisms of George W.! Laura is well portrayed (though not too deeply explored) as a once Democrat (!) by Elizabeth Banks. Ellen Burstyn also does a great Barbara Bush. Thandie Newton, however, was almost unbearable as Condoleezza Rice, and if Condi's voice is really like that, I hope never to meet her. Talk about nails down a chalkboard!

Not sure why this didn't win any Oscars, except for political reasons. See it for yourself, consider what you think, and please, let me know. I've become a bit of a political junkie these last few years, and I'd love to do some speculatin' with you!

Committed - ****4
In this charming and thought-provoking dramedy/romance, Heather Graham plays Joline, a young twenty-something who is in the process of losing her husband Carl, played by Luke Wilson. Carl has decided he needs to "figure some things out," and Joline, taking the commitment of her vows to their fullest, agrees to let him go off on his own. But she follows him across the country and stands vigil, waiting for him to return. It is a sweet and quirky, abnormal - and beautifully so - way of looking at love in the twenty-first century.

This movie is not going to be for everyone, but it is very sweet and really makes you think about the meaning of marital commitment. I loved it. I think people who liked movies like "Punch Drunk Love" or "Waitress" or even "Little Miss Sunshine" could appreciate it. There are great dialogue and delightful side characters, played by Casey Affleck (he's so cute!) and Goran Visnjic, who is just hysterical in this movie. Heather Graham does a phenomenal job in her role too; she is a beautiful person, shining from the inside out. Perfect for the role. (Btw, the above movie picture is totally stupid and doesn't represent the spirit of the movie.)

The Secret Life of Bees - ***3 1/2
This movie is based relatively well on the best selling book by Sue Monk Kidd. Dakota Fanning, who has grown up by the way, plays Lily Owens, a 14-yr old who runs away from her harsh and unloving father. Dad blames her for the accidental death of her mother several years before. I think the father was not quite played or written correctly, as he was more clearly unlikeable in the book.

Once Lily and her African American nanny end up at the home of beekeeper August Boatwright, played beautifully and sensitively by Queen Latifah, the story becomes that of Lily's coming of age, her reconciling the death of her mother, and the race wars in the 60's amidst the deep South. The plot also explores themes of family, emotional sensitivity, motherhood, spirituality, and beekeeping (which is woven more heavily throughout the book). This is a touching drama with enough tension to keep it out of the Hallmark arena. There is also a beautiful boy named Tristan Wilds who plays a young black man, Lily's eventual love interest.

Other Movies We've Recently Enjoyed:

Burn After Reading: ****4
One word... hi-freaking-larious! (Very possibly Brad Pitt's most hysterical role.)

Transsiberian: ***3 1/2
Dark, and beautifully interesting, with some horrid torture bits that will definitely cure you of your desire to ever ride the Transsiberian railroad (which I totally wanted to do at the start of the movie, ahem); also an interesting new character for Woody Harrelson.

Changeling: ****4
Totally outrageous injustice movie with your favorite and my least favorite, Bubba-Lips-Tits-and-Guns (a.k.a. Angelina). It's a good movie worth seeing and it's all "Erin Brockovich Circa 1930" and will get you on her side in about 2.2 minutes (and that's if she irritates you like she does me). Yes, she deserved an Oscar for it. See it. She and Brad need the money for all those children.

Hope you enjoyed this little trip to the movies!

~Ally

Movie Matinee!

Saw Hotel For Dogs this afternoon with Mom and absolutely loved it! Super fun and amusing and dear. Safe for kids. And inspiring for dog-lovers and misfits everywhere. A must see, no matter if it's a blockbuster or not!

~Ally

Some Movie Reviews

...for your viewing pleasure. These are some I've seen recently (several of which were seen over the weekend). All recommended. Will attempt to describe the correct genre as well. Hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

27 Dresses (Comedy/Romance)
Great chick-flick with a surprising amount of depth. Interesting love angle. Remains light-hearted, albeit full of expected tensions and resolutions. Katherine Heigl, from "Grey's Anatomy" is great in it and it's funny to see her portrayed as the plain sister (ha) to the appropriately hot and bitchy Malin Akerman (from "The Heartbreak Kid"). Ed Burns is Heigl's original love interest (and who doesn't love that raspy voice with shoulders you can hang onto - yum), but James Marsden sneaks up with his own romantic intentions (he's charming, sarcastic and experiencing his own healing process during the movie). Judy Greer plays an excellent set-you-straight best friend who doesn't mince words. Good movie. Plus, a closet full of bridesmaid dresses??? You gotta see that.

Lars and the Real Girl (Dramedy)
What would appear as a lighthearted silly story - a lonely guy who orders the perfect girl (doll!) from the Internet and totes her around as his fake girlfriend - is really a very interesting look at Delusional Disorder and how a family copes with mental illness/dealing with grief. Don't be fooled: it's funny and sweet but also sad and complicated, a real family drama. Absolutely worth watching - one of the most interesting movies I've seen in a long time. Lars (Ryan Gosling) lives in the garage of his brother (the wonderful and attractive Paul Schneider who had me rolling on the floor laughing in "Elizabethtown") and sister-in-law (the incredible, sweet and emotional Emily Mortimer**). This story explores loss, grief, motherlessness, love, relationships, family, what it means to be healthy, communication, loyalty and responsibility, the concept of a welcoming town, and psychotherapy. The dr/therapist is incredible and her approach is so subtle, so perfectly timed. The town welcomes this would-otherwise-be freak, Lars, and their reactions to the doll, Bianca (!), are strikingly moving. You really gotta see this redemptive movie.

Waitress (Comedy/Romance)
I think I may have reviewed this movie before, but if not, this is a must-see. Keri Russell (who shone in the TV show "Felicity" and the recent wonderful movie "August Rush") is brilliant in this quirky, off-beat love story. Reminiscent of the style of "Punch Drunk Love" and the TV show "Pushing Daisies," this movie mixes drama with humor. Keri Russell's character makes these fantastic pies to explain her emotions, like the "I am so sick of feeling this way blackberry pie." This is a must-see for anyone who loves a real-life, messy, endearing and unusual love story.

Seabiscuit (Drama)
This movie details the interesting life and coming-of-age of a jockey, and his horse, Seabiscuit. With all the requisite, lovely horse scenes - think "Black Beauty" and "The Horse Whisperer" - this really is a movie about the persons involved. Tobey Maguire plays the hard-on-his-luck jockey and Jeff Bridges, as always, makes an amazing character out of the horse's owner. The horse trainer, expertly played by Chris Cooper, adds to the depth of this redemption story. It's a horse-wins-by-a-nose story, yes, but it also explores relationships, how people create family, and believing in the ability to succeed beyond all odds. There are some surprising plot twists and a few unanswered questions. And some beautiful scenes of horses racing, plus an incredible sound of hoofs beating that you will never get out of your mind. Beautiful and well done.

Mr. Brooks (Suspense/Thriller)
This is a serial-killer film about a man who has the thirst for killing. It is subtly played and really well written, without too much blood and gore but with insight into the mind of a serial killer. Starring Kevin Costner, who is surprisingly creepy, this is clearly the first in a series of films...the end leaves you hanging just enough for a sequel. Costner ends up with a "killing apprentice," which is an unusual twist, a young man who wants to know what it's like to murder. This is a thoughtful, smart film with emphasis on the mind and morality, exploring addiction, rather than focusing on blood and guts, and involves just the right amount of detective-trying-to-find-him scenes. If you are in the mood for a crime movie without the predictable plot line, this might be right for you.

Also recommended: The Bucket List (Comedy), Grace is Gone (Dramedy offering a good cry at the end), the new Indiana Jones movie (Action/Adventure), About Schmidt (Dramedy), Little Miss Sunshine (hysterical Dramedy), and Something's Gotta Give (Comedy/thoughtful Romance).

**I have decided that in the movie of my life, I want to be played by a cross between Emily Mortimer, Holly Hunter, and Keri Russell.  Younger me can be played by the ever-amazing Natalie Portman.  Mom should be played by Meryl Streep and John Travolta should do the honors of Dad.  Not sure about Scott yet.  Is there a cross between Brad Pitt and Ed Harris (but younger)?  Hmmm.

~Ally

Oy, Spring

Umfh. My head is in a drowsy fog and at the same time, swelling inside like it might explode. The loverly flowers and blooming trees, the sparkling this and pretty colored that - they are all killing my ALLERGIES!! My head is a sinus fountain with pressure and fuzz simultaneously. Anyone else experiencing the onslaught of Springtime? Not that I'm complaining, just a little mild suffering.

I wanted to alert you to some delightful movies I have watched in the last week:

1) Juno -
This is a great film about a saucy but endearing teen - very modern, very hip in a not-hip way - who gets pregnant and how she deals with it. Most of the film centers around her giving the baby up for adoption and the complicated, interesting couple who become the "chosen parents." All the characters in this film are well-developed, quirky and intriguing. Prepare for major rewindability - there are lines you will want to hear three or four times. It's a very Millennium teen pregnancy movie, not the teen pregnancy of yesteryear. They do a great job of developing the young mom's changing emotions, her needs and desires for her life, and the beautiful way adoption can turn out. Not to mention the delight of seeing Jason Bateman and Michael Cera (who star together in Arrested Development, most insane TV show of all time) plus the great Allison Janney. I loved it.

2) Dan in Real Life -
Well, if you love Steve Carell as Michael in the TV hit, The Office, you're in for a treat. He's his cute, lovable self but without the assholery you see on the show. He's actually more real - you get the feeling the actor may be more like Dan than Michael. Dan is a single dad raising three precocious and sweet girls. He hasn't been in love in quite some time, having lost his wife to illness. Much of the movie gives you a raw, fresh look at dating as an adult - it's hard and often painful. Dan has a cloak of depression hanging over him like nobody's business, and yet he keeps on keeping on. This movie is VERY real life. Add in a crazy nutso family full of love (reminiscent of Home for the Holidays or maybe The Family Stone, but without the edge), and a pinch of twisted up complicated romance (lots of good tension and a feeling of will it-won't it happen??). Great movie. Sweet and redemptive and not at all sappy. Cool interrelationships throughout.

Let me know if you like these. I certainly did!

~Allison