Saturday, February 21, 2009

Some memories are sharper than Norman Rockwell might prefer

Been thinking about my Dad a lot and really missing him. Had a good cry tonight. Both Scott and I got shaken up while looking through pictures and suddenly running across several of Dad from the last year. This day last year we were picking him up from the airport after the trip to Mexico. We all had a WONDERFUL week together, and then we came home. Another week later, he came home and we picked him up from Boston. We shoveled out his car which was buried in several feet of snow. It was one in the morning and we were happy to have him home.

My sister Lauren has been really feeling the loss of Dad lately, as it's now been a year since she last saw him. A really sad and lonely feeling. There's a big gaping hole in our lives and nothing fills that void. Sometimes the void sneaks up on you and engulfs you, if for only a moment. That's when the old "stuff your feelings" motif comes in handy. And to McDonald's we go.

Mom and I spent today together and talked about Dad a lot. We both miss him so. I started a grief support group this week and I am so thankful for it already. Told Mom all about it and hope she will find a good one to join. Hospice offers them in many towns for free. The one I'm going to lasts eight weeks and is free; led by two lovely social workers and the participants are from all walks of life, each with a unique (and humanly universal) grief story about their special Person. Several members have been grieving their Person for many, many months.

Simply talking, listening, and sharing experiences is extremely healing. Just sitting in that circle with others who literally do know what you are going through takes me a long way on this journey. Am thankful for it.

This is a journey I wish I was not on. This is a club I wish I didn't have to join. But here I am. And all I can do is open my arms with love to the others I meet along the way, who find themselves in the club too.

*~*A blessing out to you all tonight, my friends. May time heal where it can; may we remember with love and joy when able; may the tears flow when they are ready.*~*

~Ally

1 comment:

Mama Zen said...

I'm glad that the group is helping. It seems like the one year mark after my grandfather's death was particularly difficult. I'm not really sure why, but it was.