June

i am . . .

i am: loving the name Juniper right now.
i think: about all the people we loved in Brattleboro and I long for their company.
i want: to be sexy again.
i wish: i didn't have fibromyalgia.
i miss: Lauren and her fam so much.
i feel: like I can't explain to people how different things are now that Dad is gone.
i hear: birds singing outside my window.
i smell: coffee and I have to have it!
i crave: for needing less money and keeping my time to myself.
i search: for a job, and it's been almost a year now.
i wonder: if we will be able to keep the house.

i regret: letting so much time pass without seeing and talking to my faraway friends.
i love: Brattleboro. will we live there again someday? will Mom be with us then, and will she like it there?
i ache: for that baby girl - c'mon, honey blossom, we're ready for you.
i always: save letters people write to me.
i am not: going to take my marriage for granted.
i believe: love is an action verb and takes lots of work and self-sacrifice.
i [want to] dance: in Amy's new dance class - she says it's like yoga and dance together. 
i sing: at the top of my lungs when i'm in the car...always have.
i write: in my Yahoo journal again - it's time.
i win [won]: the best Mom.
i lose [lost]: the best Dad.
i confuse: thoughts, still, from the darned grief. will the sharpness and clarity ever return to my mind??
i listen: to old songs I used to love and they come to life again.
i can usually be found: drowning in a sea of papers. i hope there is NO PAPER in the afterlife.
i am scared: more for danger coming to those I love than me.
i need: money for travel.
i am happy about: Scott being such an honest and loving husband.
i hope: someday to be offered a column and I am not going to stress over it anymore.

i resolve: to wait, because don't good things come to those who wait?