Morning Gratitude:
1. Very sweet time with my girl Lucy. Had two 1:1 nights with her this week. I almost kiboshed it last night by planning a big outing that would have exhausted everyone. Luckily I had the presence of mind to decide, no, we need down time together. And that turned out to be the right move.
2. A lovely weekend with Bob in NYC. We did so many special things and had time together, as well as social time with family and friends. Especially loved being on the water and the three ferry rides. Very grateful.
3. My body continues to heal itself after small traumas and go above and beyond and for this I am very grateful.
4. Jacks has decided he loves me after all and now wants to spend time with me, which is extremely heartening.
5. Planted some special plants for Father's Day and I look forward to giving them to Scott.
6. Our house plans are coming together - everything falling into place.
7. God once again did not disappoint, as he/she provided the money I needed at the right time, even though I did the "tithe faith challenge." My only request is that he/she not wait quite as long next time. We shall see.
8. A great podcast to quell my ever-rising anxiety levels, called "My Anxiety Toolkit," which I highly recommend.
9. My bf is dreaming of special trips for us, to which our previous conversations did not lead, and for which I am pleasantly surprised and hopeful.
10. I am very grateful for the opportunity to clean/clear out my shit from the house; the process of packing and moving will be good for me.
What I'm learning from my challenges/obstacles:
1. I am learning that when I ask The Mothers for help, they will help. This continues to amaze me and I definitely want to be part of this making-life-possible tribe. The counselor says I need a Plan B (and C) in place - currently I do not have one. So I am hoping the tribe will help.
2. The mountain of moving three houses (including my reluctant, possessions-rich Mommy) into one house this summer, while doing two long conferences at work, and managing daycare vacation days and summertime activities and a million health projects, is extremely daunting. But I am learning to take a breath, schedule it out, make lists, and do one thing at a time. This helps everyone stay focused. My dear friend from work said, "This is what you do for a living," and that was the most excellent reminder of all. I CAN do this. I just need to plan it out. It can be hard for me to slow myself down, like when I am jacked up on coffee (as is my present condition) and when I am itching to clean/pack/move myself but I am last on the list of three....but slowing down and taking a minute is so extremely important to my mental and physical health. It just absolutely HAS to be done.
3. I continue to learn that life travels in chapters. The chapter of pain and despair in re: Jack is shifting. And the chapter of total overwork and mental overload has begun. The chapter of anxiety is new (not a fan), and the chapter of worrying what others think of me is pretty much over. A new chapter with a new family structure (me, the kids, Bob, and Mom) is beginning (this is an exciting one with who knows what possibilities), and the chapter of aloneness in the apartment rebuilding my life out of rubble is over. I thank you, Jesus, for all these changes and for the constant reminder that, "This won't last forever." Meaning, the rough times will not last forever; and I better savor the good moments while they are happening.
People I'm grateful for (who make life a little happier):
1. Caitlin Rollo, and side-related, Mike and Chelsea.
2. Karen Benner - who I am seeing very soon if all goes well. (Lord, please.)
3. My sister. My heart is singing her to me, and I will see her one week from today, for a week. Can this be happening??
4. Bob, who continues to surprise. Crazy and lovable Gemini.
5. My darling Jack, who is heart of my heart, even through the struggle. We struggle so because we are so similar. I often say, "I get you buddy," and I am grateful that at least we have this. Like I had with my dad. I love you with all my heart, Jack, and I want for you a happy, satisfying life, full of adventure, love and openness, and a heart that can break and mend, break and mend. (Lord, make him resilient and soft-hearted.)
The best part of my day:
So far the best part of my day has been arriving at work and hitting the ground running, even though that was not my plan. I finished my main and most pressing to-do list before 9:30! That felt fantastic. Then I accidentally made a secondary to-do list and am overwhelmed again. But that's OK. One step in front of the other.
Grateful for the moment of life in which I live and breathe.
~Ally
p.s. Book and parenting recommendation [this program is changing my life]:
Listen by Patty Wipfler, and the related Hand in Hand Parenting podcast and website. If you have a child who does not "fit" with the other 3,000 parenting methods you read about and tried, you simply must try this one. It is revolutionizing the way I think about children, humans, emotional outbursts, anger, pain, and connection. It is changing the way I relate to my son, and to others around me. And teaching me a lot on my old lifelong learning path called: learning how to really listen. Am extremely grateful for this find.
1. Very sweet time with my girl Lucy. Had two 1:1 nights with her this week. I almost kiboshed it last night by planning a big outing that would have exhausted everyone. Luckily I had the presence of mind to decide, no, we need down time together. And that turned out to be the right move.
2. A lovely weekend with Bob in NYC. We did so many special things and had time together, as well as social time with family and friends. Especially loved being on the water and the three ferry rides. Very grateful.
3. My body continues to heal itself after small traumas and go above and beyond and for this I am very grateful.
4. Jacks has decided he loves me after all and now wants to spend time with me, which is extremely heartening.
5. Planted some special plants for Father's Day and I look forward to giving them to Scott.
6. Our house plans are coming together - everything falling into place.
7. God once again did not disappoint, as he/she provided the money I needed at the right time, even though I did the "tithe faith challenge." My only request is that he/she not wait quite as long next time. We shall see.
8. A great podcast to quell my ever-rising anxiety levels, called "My Anxiety Toolkit," which I highly recommend.
9. My bf is dreaming of special trips for us, to which our previous conversations did not lead, and for which I am pleasantly surprised and hopeful.
10. I am very grateful for the opportunity to clean/clear out my shit from the house; the process of packing and moving will be good for me.
What I'm learning from my challenges/obstacles:
1. I am learning that when I ask The Mothers for help, they will help. This continues to amaze me and I definitely want to be part of this making-life-possible tribe. The counselor says I need a Plan B (and C) in place - currently I do not have one. So I am hoping the tribe will help.
2. The mountain of moving three houses (including my reluctant, possessions-rich Mommy) into one house this summer, while doing two long conferences at work, and managing daycare vacation days and summertime activities and a million health projects, is extremely daunting. But I am learning to take a breath, schedule it out, make lists, and do one thing at a time. This helps everyone stay focused. My dear friend from work said, "This is what you do for a living," and that was the most excellent reminder of all. I CAN do this. I just need to plan it out. It can be hard for me to slow myself down, like when I am jacked up on coffee (as is my present condition) and when I am itching to clean/pack/move myself but I am last on the list of three....but slowing down and taking a minute is so extremely important to my mental and physical health. It just absolutely HAS to be done.
3. I continue to learn that life travels in chapters. The chapter of pain and despair in re: Jack is shifting. And the chapter of total overwork and mental overload has begun. The chapter of anxiety is new (not a fan), and the chapter of worrying what others think of me is pretty much over. A new chapter with a new family structure (me, the kids, Bob, and Mom) is beginning (this is an exciting one with who knows what possibilities), and the chapter of aloneness in the apartment rebuilding my life out of rubble is over. I thank you, Jesus, for all these changes and for the constant reminder that, "This won't last forever." Meaning, the rough times will not last forever; and I better savor the good moments while they are happening.
People I'm grateful for (who make life a little happier):
1. Caitlin Rollo, and side-related, Mike and Chelsea.
2. Karen Benner - who I am seeing very soon if all goes well. (Lord, please.)
3. My sister. My heart is singing her to me, and I will see her one week from today, for a week. Can this be happening??
4. Bob, who continues to surprise. Crazy and lovable Gemini.
5. My darling Jack, who is heart of my heart, even through the struggle. We struggle so because we are so similar. I often say, "I get you buddy," and I am grateful that at least we have this. Like I had with my dad. I love you with all my heart, Jack, and I want for you a happy, satisfying life, full of adventure, love and openness, and a heart that can break and mend, break and mend. (Lord, make him resilient and soft-hearted.)
The best part of my day:
So far the best part of my day has been arriving at work and hitting the ground running, even though that was not my plan. I finished my main and most pressing to-do list before 9:30! That felt fantastic. Then I accidentally made a secondary to-do list and am overwhelmed again. But that's OK. One step in front of the other.
Grateful for the moment of life in which I live and breathe.
~Ally
p.s. Book and parenting recommendation [this program is changing my life]:
Listen by Patty Wipfler, and the related Hand in Hand Parenting podcast and website. If you have a child who does not "fit" with the other 3,000 parenting methods you read about and tried, you simply must try this one. It is revolutionizing the way I think about children, humans, emotional outbursts, anger, pain, and connection. It is changing the way I relate to my son, and to others around me. And teaching me a lot on my old lifelong learning path called: learning how to really listen. Am extremely grateful for this find.
