The Rabbit Hole: SWDB: November 15, 2019

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For Today...

Friday, November 15, 2019

Outside my window...
It is suddenly almost 60 degrees again, after a week or more of 20 degree winterization. I am finding as I age that I just cannot tolerate the cold anymore. Which stinks. So this is the progression that turns good New Englanders into snowbirds.....I am starting to get it.

I am thinking...

about Christmas, a holiday and time I love so much, in which my boyfriend does not partake. We will be having all the (previous) in-laws from Scott's side of the family for the holidays at our house. Which Bob refuses to help decorate. I can totally respect his views, but wondering if he can respect and/or tolerate mine. First time we are really put to the test. Fingers crossed...

I am thankful...

to have Nate and Becca home. To have my Christmas letter done and sent out. To know I can reach most of my friends and family through email and Facebook. Thank you, Lauren, for finally getting on the wagon. See how nice it is to stay in touch?

I am wearing...

a black and white sweater, jeans - need new ones - and weird socks bc mine are all still packed and I have no idea where they are. Moving is a really weird state of being.

I am creating...

a new bedtime routine with my girl which includes listening together to a meditation exercise. She really seems to enjoy this and when I tried to skip it last night, she protested quite a bit. She is clinging to connection and closeness right now. I suppose I'd better relish the opportunity while it is before me.

I am going...
to attempt to do some relaxing on Sunday by myself. And to take the kids with friends to a craft fair tomorrow because who doesn't love a craft fair?

I am wondering...

if I will ever not be exhausted. It seems like I have been almost 100% in this state for the last nine years. Is there coming a day when I will feel healthy, happy, and energized? I cannot even imagine.

I am reading...

White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo, which is VERY good and a real heart-bender. Am also finishing up The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You by Elaine Aron, PhD, and Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges by Patty Wipfler and Tosha Schore. All phenomenal and highly recommended. I can guarantee you need to read all of these, even if you don't have children, even if you think you're not affected by racism (you are), and even if you don't think you are sensitive (because someone in your life is and would really appreciate you reading this book).

I would like to be reading Edith Wharton's A Backward Glance: An Autobiography and a relaxing novel, bathtub-side. But let's not dream so big we can't accomplish it, right?

I am hoping...

to have some quiet alone time during the Thanksgiving holiday weekend, as the kids will be gone to New York. Am also hoping to enjoy a wonderful holiday season of splinkles and sprinkles and fun. And to get a vacation one of these days - possibly alone. And to see my sister.

I am learning...

to ride the emotional waves. They keep coming. There may NOT be a time "when things slow down," as so many of us keep chanting but being disappointed about. The kids will have their chapters of insecurity and then they will live through them. I can now say I weathered a time when my kid hated me. That is cool to have survived. I can say I helped our family through another transition. I can say my Mom is settled in a safe place. I can say that Yes, I DID move three houses into one over the summer and survived! Each moment makes us stronger and wiser. But those lessons don't always last. No worries...another lesson is right around the corner. What goes up must come down. And thankfully, what goes down, will go back up. [Thank you, Mom, for this invaluable lesson.]

In my garden...

Ohh. It too is in transition. Need to make several trips there to clean it up and bring things to the new house. But it's just so darn cooooollllld.

In my kitchen...

is very little rotten fridge food, very much in the stocked pantry, and only ONE rotten frozen banana, Kristen. :) I feel like I am finally growing up. [It's really due to having a legit cook in the house, my partner.]

A favorite quote for today...

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” ― Steve Jobs

A peek into one of my days...