Snapshot of Today

The Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY, January 10, 2011

Outside My Window...is that perfect blue night-approaching sky, the color you can only see between dusk and darkness. The world is illuminated in beauty and possibility.

I am thinking...that many of you may not know yet that I am pregnant. And happy to be so. And finally content.

I am thankful for...having a job and going into my second year there. My boss is wonderful and I have learned so much in the past year.

From the kitchen...I really ought to be making something tonight. I have done so little cooking, as I have been sooooo tired. I think tonight will be taco night, with a side of rice with corn in it.

I am wearing...one of the few pairs of pants I can still fit into. They are stretchy. Oh, the power of the drawstring.

I am creating...human life, as I like to remind Scott. ;) Well, I am merely the vessel. But it is pretty amazing to think of a real living being inside me, akin to Sigourney Weaver in "Alien"...or maybe something more beautiful than that.

I am going...to really purge this house of unneeded stuff. We gotta make room for another person in this life of ours, not to mention this condo. I have too many knick-knacks (yes, Laurel), and books, old clothes that don't fit and bags of projects I might do SOMEday. When IS this someday and how on earth will I have time for all those projects??

I am reading...

well, I WAS reading "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius," by Dave Eggers, when the news hit and the hormones came on, full force. And then I hibernated for three months. And here we are, week 14, and I am getting a semblance of energy back, ever so slowly, and now all I can seem to read is "Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy" and "What to Expect When You're Expecting"! So cliche. But, mama's gotta conserve her energy. And Dave Eggers isn't gonna tell me what the hell a tilted uterus is! But I really do need to get back to that book...

I am hoping...that Michele will know how much I love and respect her and not have to stop talking to me because I got pregnant (though I would totally understand if that is the case. We have both been through the ringer...).

I am hearing...ick, and SMELLING, the cat going potty in the catbox. Damn supersonic sense of smell!

Around the house...I still have my Christmas decorations up, and this weekend - yes - they really are getting packed away until next year.

One of my favorite things...is spending time with friends, and I really, really miss them all. So many dear ones too far away. I need some girl time, some coffee time, some gay best friend time, some walk and talk time, some drinks after work and laughing our heads off time.

A few plans for the rest of the week...include some horrible dental work - expensive and painful. Good times. Me on Wednesday and Scott too, on Friday. But then a hopefully relaxing three day weekend with Martin Luther King Jr's Bday on Monday.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

cranberry bog

flowers in Kashmir

(both photos from the Web)

And there you have it, my Simple Woman's Daybook. View other entries at The Simple Woman's Daybook. Try writing one yourself if you feel inspired.

~Ally

i am

i am . . .

i am: thankful for a peaceful Saturday night.
i think: and that makes my brain exceedingly tired...
i want: Lauren to get reliable high speed Internet at home.
i wish: i had more time to talk to friends.
i miss: having endless amounts of time to socialize like we did in college.
i feel: more than I let on.
i hear: that UPS is sending free aid packages for anyone to Haiti. But then I heard you should just donate money to the Red Cross so they can buy water immediately.
i smell: worse when I smoke.
i crave: that feeling of falling in love.
i search: for poetry that children can understand and be inspired by.
i wonder: when we will be able to buy a real house with some land.

i regret: starting up smoking again.
i love: my husband.
i ache: and need a professional massage...soon.
i always: double-check the locks before bed.
i am not: finished mailing the Christmas letters yet!
i believe: the trees feel it when you hug them and sometimes they hug back.
i dance: when I think about the theme song of "Fame"!
i sing: sometimes when I play the piano.
i write: in coffee shops - one of the great pleasures of all time.
i win: at Taboo but almost never at Scrabble.
i lose: at Monopoly, but still love playing it.
i confuse: myself when I try to get up in the morning while it's still dark. (argh)
i listen: to the stories of so many sad, grieving, and suffering people these days. my heart goes out to them.
i can usually be found: in bed on Saturday mornings.
i am scared: by rape statistics.
i need: time to breathe and relax.
i am happy about: going to visit the fam in Mexico in just seven days!!!
i hope: to live by the heart and not the head.

i resolve: to be honest with my mother-in-law about my feelings and decisions.

Tag - you're it.

~Ally

Over the top and inside out

Thank you Donna at DQ's Windmill for the award! The rules are: thank the person who gave it to you, answer the following questions in one word, and then pass it forward to five other bloggers.

*Where is your phone? CHARGING
*Your hair? WET
*Your Mother? AMAZING
*Your Father? MISSED
*Favorite food? FROZEN
*Your dream last night? FORGOTTEN
*Favorite drink? SODA
*Your dream? EASE
*What room are you in? LIVING
*Your hobby? READING
*Your fear? POVERTY
*Where do you want to be in six years? MOTHERHOOD
*Where were you last night? HOME
*Something you're not? PEACEFUL
*Muffins? BLUEBERRY
*Wish List Item? SECURITY
*Last thing you did? WORRY
*What are you wearing? FARGO
*Your pets? SNUGGLY
*Your friends? BUSY!
*Your life? CHANGING
*Your mood? DEPRESSED
*Missing someone? TIP
*Your vehicle? FAITHFUL
*Something you're not wearing? COMMANDO
*Your favorite color? RED
*When was the last time you laughed? TONIGHT
*Last time you cried? UNSURE
*Your best friend? KITTY
*One place you go over and over? PRAYER
*One person that emails you? BARB
*Favorite place to eat? INDIAN

I tag: anyone who wants to play. Let me know!
~Ally

June

i am . . .

i am: loving the name Juniper right now.
i think: about all the people we loved in Brattleboro and I long for their company.
i want: to be sexy again.
i wish: i didn't have fibromyalgia.
i miss: Lauren and her fam so much.
i feel: like I can't explain to people how different things are now that Dad is gone.
i hear: birds singing outside my window.
i smell: coffee and I have to have it!
i crave: for needing less money and keeping my time to myself.
i search: for a job, and it's been almost a year now.
i wonder: if we will be able to keep the house.

i regret: letting so much time pass without seeing and talking to my faraway friends.
i love: Brattleboro. will we live there again someday? will Mom be with us then, and will she like it there?
i ache: for that baby girl - c'mon, honey blossom, we're ready for you.
i always: save letters people write to me.
i am not: going to take my marriage for granted.
i believe: love is an action verb and takes lots of work and self-sacrifice.
i [want to] dance: in Amy's new dance class - she says it's like yoga and dance together. 
i sing: at the top of my lungs when i'm in the car...always have.
i write: in my Yahoo journal again - it's time.
i win [won]: the best Mom.
i lose [lost]: the best Dad.
i confuse: thoughts, still, from the darned grief. will the sharpness and clarity ever return to my mind??
i listen: to old songs I used to love and they come to life again.
i can usually be found: drowning in a sea of papers. i hope there is NO PAPER in the afterlife.
i am scared: more for danger coming to those I love than me.
i need: money for travel.
i am happy about: Scott being such an honest and loving husband.
i hope: someday to be offered a column and I am not going to stress over it anymore.

i resolve: to wait, because don't good things come to those who wait?

Yes, I asked you what YOU'RE thinking!

(image from www.mandalaheartworks.com/shininglightdesigns.htm)

Well my dears. Now it's time for you to give YOUR TWO CENTS!

As you know, my blog is tres eclectic. Never know what you're gonna get, do you? Could be a photo story, a recipe, some clever article, or fascinating minutiae from the World Wide Web. Might be a poem, a quote, or my new favorite video (whether endearing or ridiculous).

So what do you like best?

Tell all, tout de suite, before the chance escapes you!

~Ally
xo

just checking in

i am . . .

i am: engrossed in reading I Know This Much is True, by Wally Lamb.
i think: working part-time is the best of both worlds...if one can afford it, that is.
i want: to have a baby, or maybe even twins!
i wish: Grandma Dorothy lived closer (or we lived closer to MN).
i miss: Lauren.
i feel: much better than a few days ago when I was really sick.
i hear: Jean Mackin telling us the news.
i smell: zucchini, tomato, and Swiss cheese pie, which I made for dinner.
i crave: pretzels and liquids.
i search: for the answer about whether Cymbalta is OK during pregnancy or not.
i wonder: how people first got their surnames (besides the Johnsons, Williamsons, Porters, and Carpenters, that is).
i regret: getting that crappy grade on my Humanities class - I did NOT enjoy that class.
i love: making CDs for people of music that will cheer them.
i ache: in my blasted knee! wish that would go away. don't have the energy to invest in figuring it out and fixing it.
i always: stay up too late.
i am not: getting headaches from wine anymore, and am rather enjoying it again!
i believe: God doesn't care if I go to church or not.
i dance: less than I would like to!
i sing: more than others would like me to! ha ha. Scott's always saying, "NO OPERA in the shower!!"
i write: much better than I speak. I am always getting tongue-tied these days. Very weird.
i win: the prize for best nieces and nephews in the world!!!
i lose: my train of thought often these days.
i confuse: the cats when I dart too quickly through the house.
i listen: to the kitchen clock ticking very, very loudly.
i can usually be found: laughing, singing, or swearing.
i am scared: aren't you?
i need: someone to teach me how to use my sewing machine. and someone to teach me how to knit.
i am happy about: spring planting and Agway and potting projects!
i hope: the womens' group will succeed and be a good outlet for a few of us gals.

i resolve: to call or write the note to a friend when I think about doing it. (monumental!)

February 28, 2009 Checking In

i am: having pancakes with a new friend tomorrow - life is good
i think: visiting butterflies in the middle of winter is a wonderfully calm and magical thing to do
i want: my women's group to start soon
i wish: i had enough money to be a benefactor
i miss: Dad and Tip, a lot this week
i feel: sorry that several members in the family are struggling
i hear: we are getting stimulus checks - show me the money!
i smell: Indian food, still, in the house - I cooked it on Wednesday!!
i crave: pretzels, as I'm now addicted to them
i search: for a job
i wonder: if I will be pregnant this year
i regret: not painting the rooms before we moved in - now it seems like SUCH a project
i love: my kitties Judy and O'Reilly - they bring such joy
i ache: in my joints lately
i am not: behind on the mortgage
i believe: things will eventually get better
i forget: what I did with the directions to IHOP...hmmm
i confuse: the days, months, and even the year lately!
i went to: the second grief support group meeting and it was helpful
i listen: to Randy Travis a lot lately
i need: to get my sleep patterns sorted out
i am happy about: knowing my father loved me
i hope: to do some freelance writing soon, and maybe have a column

~Ally

Giving Up Could Be Freeing

(photo is from nevblog.com - interesting, check it out)

So I was listening to an economic analyst today who said we would all have to give up things soon, adjust the American standard of living, change our ways. Malls are losing business, department stores are going bankrupt, and people are not only not spending their money, they are SAVING it! Then tonight I watched a news clip about how the auto industry will phase out its huge gas-guzzling SUVs (thank God and finally!) and focus on their baseline economy cars - the cars of the people. So I got to thinking about what I could easily give up in the future...and what will prove more challenging.

I think I could easily:
1. Stick with my phone, car, and clothes for another couple of years. (Heck, if I lost some weight, I already have a whole 'nother wardrobe in the next size down!)
2. Stay in the condo and postpone the dream of moving into a house for a few more years.
3. Cut down on the lunches and dinners out - I've already cut way back in the last six months.
4. Buy frozen pizzas for those nights I don't want to cook, instead of ordering a pizza.
5. Be more diligent about watching and returning the Netflix we already have; order less On Demand and pick up less Blockbuster movies. It's the darn $4.99's that add up.
6. Give up weekend romantic getaways, if they could be replaced by something else romantic and special.
7. Get creative about get-togethers with friends. Spend less money on food and entertainment, and put more energy into finding creative, free things to do. Like go to the museum when we get the free passes from the library, and not otherwise.
8. Buy things for the baby (when there is one) at Good Will and Craigslist, or use items that are borrowed. I don't mind used as long as it's safe and clean.

It would be harder to:
1. Give up cable altogether. Or high-speed Internet for that matter. Pleeeease don't make me give up high-speed Internet!
2. Postpone getting another dog because of rising vet costs.
3. Take a job I hate or have to drive an hour each way to work. I have spent several years trying to get closer to home, with good reasons, and going further out now would be miserable.
4. Say "no" to traveling and vacations. Plane tickets have become such a bear, but with most of my family far away, I really hate the thought of not seeing them. Life is too short.
5. Not buy presents for people - Christmas, birthday, and my endless love of greeting cards and stationary. Argh.
6. Sacrifice visits to friends - most of which require an hour's drive or more.
7. Give up health care that I need for my back. Like chiropractic. I have already given up physical therapy and massage and am suffering greatly for it.
8. Eliminate hair cuts. Though I have given up color for now. Not a fan of the self-coloring.

Things that would be sad to give up but of course I could:
1. Brand names, like Tide. Oh, sweet-addictive-overpriced Tide.
2. Vacations. Other than family trips, we barely take any as it is.
3. My car - if needed, I could always downgrade. But driving a new car is a blessed delight after many years of beaters and always wondering if the car was going to break down.

What kinds of changes could you make? Whether they are goals geared toward money-saving or time refocusing, I think you'll find this exercise helps to begin clarifying what is most important to you. Let me know if you do a similar post, so I can read your ideas. The more we get creative and share tips, the more we will get used to the idea of changing our standard of living. And if you have any great ideas for Reduce-Reuse-Recycle, I'd love to hear those too! Let's start a wave.

And let's make sure we keep spending energy on Love. That is free, and blessedly priceless, no matter what the economy brings. In Love, let us always be rich!

~Ally

February snapshot

i am: watching a Hallmark movie, "For the Love of Grace" (it's good)
i think: I am not cut out to be a fire fighter - I am very thankful for those who are
i want: to spend some time with Jesse soon
i wish: I had $5,000 to give my friend who is having a terrible time
i miss: my cousins and their families
i feel: like a stepmom; I really appreciate Hillary and her family
i hear: we might be getting stimulus checks - I so hope it's true!
i smell: Nature's Gate cream and I immediately think of Amy
i crave: girl friends to pal around with on a regular basis
i search: for books I can read while my mind is still distracted
i wonder: how Robin is doing
i regret: not spending more time with Jenny in Boston
i love: the thought of having a women's "book group," or even better, just a dinner and friendship group that meets regularly - a group you can count on and grow with for years
i ache: therefore i am
i always: prefer night to morning
i am not: friends with money or time. oh well, can't win 'em all!
i believe: there is a God (no matter what you call it) who is a benevolent force
i dance: well, i WANT to line dance with Fran!
i sing: when I play the piano - eventually the music just bursts forth
i write: thoughts and ideas for the poetry reading in March
i win: the prize for most awful closets...but not for long!
i lose: track of time on Facebook
i confuse: short term memories - a symptom of grief, I believe
i listen: to Mom's advice (but don't tell her that)
i can usually be found: scrounging for a snack (grr)
i am scared: of spiders falling on my head - shivering at the thought!
i need: people
i am happy about: the possibility of editing and writing from home
i hope: Scott and I beat the odds and stay married for life

and since in January,
i resolve(d): to visit the clubhouse exercise room,
I will confess that I have not been there yet. I do still plan to go.
for February,
i resolve: to call my cousin Amber and tell her I love her!

And finally, a beautiful quote from the Hallmark movie: "Don't postpone the joy."

Tag - you're it! Let me know when you've done your list.
~Ally

January, and i am what i am

i am . . .

i am: young and need to stop acting old
i think: i will lose weight this winter
i want: more romance in my life
i wish: there were 35 extra freebie hours in the week, like the 35 extra points WW gives you
i miss: Tip, oh, especially today - my feet keep "looking" for him under the coffee table and he is not there
i feel: a bit lost, as several of the normal fence posts of my life are missing
i hear: Randy Travis' "Worship and Faith" album and it takes me right back to Suthun' Baptist revival meetings and Texas summer nights
i smell: snow in the air (mmm)
i crave: affection
i search: the Web for appropriate local jobs
i wonder: when I will find one - ack!
i regret: wasting time on angry people
i love: giving gifts, especially the unexpected kind
i ache: in my hands today
i always: laugh at Robin Williams (did you see his latest 9 min Youtube from England?)
i am not: opposed to questioning my own opinions
i believe: we are each on a journey of self learning and enlightenment in this life
i dance: with my girlies and we laugh, we laugh
i sing: a song in my head most of the time - at night it comes in rhythms, as my feet tap themselves to sleep
i write: cards to my mother-in-law, because I like her and those letters strengthen our relationship
i win: the prize for most patient husband
i lose: time, daily...where does it go?
i confuse: the word "sunrise" with "sunset" b/c I don't want to know about things that happen before 6 a.m.
i listen: to the fridge gurgling and humming
i can usually be found: writing something, often a list
i am scared: by the pure deliciousness of Cheese Balls....yum
i need: a dog
i am happy about: O'Reilly the Cat and his wonderful enormous feet
i hope: to get my ailing computer fixed soon and see the movie "W"

(and for January, 2009)

i resolve: to visit the clubhouse exercise room!

Now you...
~Ally

Honesty is the best policy (and it could win you stuff)

THANK YOU, KRISTIN, for this great award! Since my name means "truthful," I take the Honest Scrap (or honest crap) award as a high compliment. XO

10 Honest Things About Myself:

1. I have become neurotically afraid of bees in the last few years, reverting to my childhood fear of bees.

2. I hate being fat.

3. I miss smoking every single day. In my nighttime dreams, I always smoke.

4. I have a false tooth.

5. I have desperately wanted to bear children for the last twelve years. I am wondering if that desire has begun to run its course.

6. I was too afraid to enter competitive gymnastics, and thus ended my gymnastics career at age 12. I have always regretted that.

7. I wish I had more sex.

8. I have fibromyalgia. No, it is not a myth. It is not a psychological disorder. It is a possibly-degenerative, chronic physical condition. And it hurts.

9. I secretly don't believe my father is dead. He is probably just on a long fishing vacation. Let me think this. Just let me.

10. I am secretive. (Okay, Laurel? I admit it.) Though I am very honest and open, I always have control over what spills out...and some things hopefully never will.


My favorite honest bloggers, to whom I give this award:

1. Kristin at Jilli Java and the Garden of Eden - she is truthful and realistic, with a dash of hopeful; she tells a brave story of recovering from drowning in alcohol. You go girl.

2. Marie at A Year From Oak Cottage - in her cooking, love of family and friends, acceptance of all walks of life, and spiritual side, she does not mince words. But she does mince garlic, and you gotta love a girl for that.

3. Scott (my dear husband) at Rock, Water and Light, for he conveys truth through his photographs, capturing the beauty of this harsh and wonderful world.

4. Mama Zen at The Zen of Motherhood, for she is hysterically funny, irreverent and joyful. And she loves her family.

5. Bella at Beyond the Map, and though she stopped writing, you can still read previous pages of her inner struggles - she is painful, thoughtful, and searching through her lyrical prose.

6. Steve at Virginia Journal, who explores the world with photography; he has exquisitely beautiful macro work, as well as delightful photos of children and animals.

7. Karen at Cheerio Road - a Zen practitioner and published author, she is a great writer. I appreciate her willingness to share imperfect moments - that is priceless, and it enables me to receive her spiritual guidance.

Good people. Check them out.
~Ally

Rules for the recipients:
♥ list 10 honest things about yourself
♥ pass the award onto 7 blogs that you find brilliant in their content or design
♥ link to the blogger who gave you this prize
♥ link to the blogs receiving the prize
♥ notify the recipients

Speaking of Pet Peeves

...or as Kristin says, "things that get under your skin," why don't we do a list of top 5 or 10 things that irritate you. And then top 5 or 10 things that take the edge off, or make you happier. Put a comment on this post if you are going to do the activity on your blog, so we can all check it out!

5 Pet Peeves:

1. Drivers not using turn signals and then slamming on the brakes to turn.
2. Telemarketers. Add to that, those completely automated telemarketers. You say, "Hello," and there's a silence and then the recording starts. You know the ones.
3. Teachers who can't spell. Seriously, people!
4. President Bush saying "nucular" - that drives me insane!!! Sarah Palin did it too! THE WORD IS NUCLEAR! Noo-clee-ur. Practice it, know it, and stop being an idiot.
5. Hair clippings in the sink. Ickkkkk.

5 Things that Cheer Me Up:

1. When people start singing along to the radio. (I especially love singing to that song "Chicken Fry.")
2. Seeing a dog to pet in Petco. And a new favorite activity of hilarity - watching the mice cages at Petco. Hours of fun!
3. Hearing a message from Anna, Emma, or Matthew (little children) on my answering machine.
4. Finding a paycheck in the mailbox.
5. Snow falling.

Now your turn.
~Ally

Oneword

Swiped this one word fun from Hip to Code, who has also posted this insanely intriguing video of animal love (and no, not in the dirty sense).

one word:

1. Where is your cell phone? pocket
2. Your significant other? sleeps
3. Your hair? graying
4. Your mother? traveling
5. Your father? chatted
6. Your favorite thing? Scott
7. Your dream last night? forgotten!!!! (unprecedented)
8 Your favorite drink? coffee
9. Your dream/goal? farm
10. The room you’re in? living
11. Your hobby? writing
12. Your fear? bedbugs
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? farmhouse
14. What are you not? shy
15. Muffins? blueberry
16. One of your wish list items? Amazon.com
17. Where you grew up? Brookfield
18. The last thing you did? reading
19. What are you wearing? green
20. Favorite gadget? celly
21. Your pets? clean
22. Your computer? secured
23. Your mood? depressed
24. Missing someone? Grandma (and Lauren)
25. Your car? dirty
26. Something you’re not wearing? shoes
27. Favorite store? Borders
28. Like someone? hubby
29. Your favorite color? red
30. When was the last time you laughed? today

i still am (or am i?)

felt like doing this again. a week later and a chapter wiser. am i?

i am . . .

i am: up too late, again.
i think: i could really be happy writing for a living.

i know: how to raise one eyebrow at a time.

i want: an English Setter.
i have: an invitation to read one of my poems on Thursday night and for some reason, i cannot commit to it. why?
i wish: i could have two years off work to write and have babies.
i hate: sweet pickles.
i miss: my Grandma Dorothy. she's too far away.
i fear: that i will have trouble getting unemployment pay. [last week's was: losing my job. a ha ha ha.]
i feel: like taking the summer off. shhh - Scott'll have an aneurysm.
i hear: the fridge making its night sounds - translation: go to bed.
i smell: mold - it's settling into the grass, so hot and damp and muggy. it's killing my allergies.
i crave: sweets, pretty much all the time.
i search: the internet for interesting jobs close to home.
i wonder: how the stars feel. (celestial, not Hollywood)
i regret: not pursuing the Communications major in college - and frankly can't remember what changed my mind about it.
"i love: you" is the most powerful phrase on earth.
i ache: most days. fibromyalgia will do that to ya. lately it's OK.
i care: about my fellow bloggers. that strikes me as odd and sweet and freakish and scary and human all at the same time. you?
i always: double check my work. unless i don't.
i am not: too old to become a mother. but i did get the brochure.
i believe: in the power of ... (ellipses)
i dance: to stay sane.
i sing: to worship a God i can't name.
i cry: when i see humans being really good to each other.
i don’t always: order a turkey sandwich. but i usually do.
i fight: with myself more than anyone.

i write: and i feel alive.
i win: the prize at longest string of crap jobs that don't make sense with the price tag on my education.
i lose: sight of scott when i get caught up in bossing him around.
i never: forget to lock the door. if it's unlocked, i meant to do that.
i confuse: people sometimes when i "talk-to-think" - my words can't keep up with my thoughts and i leave out some connecting details.
i listen: to country music now, and i absolutely love it.
i can usually be found: with this laptop burning my lap at night. why do they get so hot underneath?
i am scared: of being wrong about God after all.
i need: to feel appreciated and recognized in order to feel content. say what you will, i just do.
i am happy about: the possibility that life could be very long and i could work out several of my dilemmas before it's over.

what about "i hope"?
i hope: scott and i can still go on our vacation. [for a discussion on hope, see this. for a discussion on my vacation, see this.]
i'm grateful for: my nieces, my husband, Tippy, and you.

Und du?

~Al

i am...

I found this idea on Hip to Code, a delightful new blog I am trying.  I am feeling self-indulgent today, and you know I can't pass up a quiz, so humor me.  :)

i am . . .

i am: ready for lunch and for my co-worker to go home for the day.
i think: i will ask mom to teach me to use my sewing machine.

i know: who i am much better than i did ten years ago.

i want: a calm life with strong relationships, creativity, and laughter.
i have: always loved the smell of lavender.
i wish: i didn't have to work for a living.
i hate: working with crazy, mean people.
i miss: working at P&G. and liking my job.
i fear: losing my job.
i feel: good about having a loving relationship with my mom.
i hear: the ocean when Red talks about going to Barbados.
i smell: good, thank you very much!  ;)
i crave: babies, cooking, chocolate, and time to myself.
i search: for meaning.  Scott says I have to find it within, but how?
i wonder: why no one stops Bush from ruining the country?
i regret: ever starting admin office work.  Shoulda gone to art school.
i love: my poochie, Tip.  We snuggle every morning.
i ache: for my extended family - they're too far away.
i care: what my nieces think of me.
i always: am surprised by Scott...always.
i am not: one of those smug, straight married people.  it's perfectly valid to be single, or not want kids, or be gay, or whatever fits with your heart.  i've lived several lifetimes already and been on both sides of many fences.  it's a long life.
i believe: people can experience healing and love, at any stage of life.
i dance: around the living room and with the dog.
i sing: without realizing i'm doing it.
i cry: whenever my heart feels too full - of any emotion.
i don’t always: use the laundry room as my second closet...but i often do (to the annoyance of my husband).
i fight: with my own angst.  and with the TV.

i write: honestly.
i win: the affections of parents, usually.
i lose: one earring from each pair of favorites.  grrr.
i never: know how to respond when people are mean to me.
i confuse: loyalty and love with obligation and guilt.
i listen: to Marie's playlist while blogging late at night.
i can usually be found: in front of a computer, steering wheel or TV.
i am scared: i will never find work that i love.
i need: money.  a lot of it.
i am happy about: finding a good baby doctor.  yay!!!

Now your turn.  :)

~Ally

Happy in My Home

Here are five of my favorite things:
1) Pig
I got Pig on a romantic weekend with Scott in Ogunquit, Maine (the town where we got married). Pig was in a cute little shop full of artsy, whimsical creations, called Art & Soul. Scott loved the store but did not get why I loved Pig. Now Scott likes Pig even less, as Pig seems to always be staring at him (a ha ha ha). I broke Pig's tail off in the store. I tried to get a discount at the checkout. [Why did I do that when I broke his tail??] Needless to say, Pig was worth every penny.
I had to post one extra picture of Pig's profile. What a gorgeous Pig.
2) Bass Lake Coasters
My cousin Karen sent these for me and I just received them unexpectedly this weekend! We have a family lake cottage on Bass Lake, and all us kids grew up there, swimming, playing, having bonfires, watching fireworks, putting on plays for the neighbors while the crickets chirped. It's one of my favorite places on earth. 3) Our Name Platters
These beautiful platters were a gift from Rebecca for our wedding. They were made by a woman she calls Auntie Goldie, who runs Earthworks pottery studio in Barbados. I've been there and it's a beautiful shop, and Goldie is a wonderful woman.
4) The Cart
Thank God we finally bought the cart - it took us a year and a half to get around to it! Now I don't have to make thirty-seven trips when bringing in groceries. I LOVE the cart. $20 at the grocery store. Yeah!
5) The Old Mirror
We have been looking for the right mirror for our entryway and after two years, we finally found it. I love it. $4 from a massive yard sale and a guy who was happy to sell it to us. I had a mirror quite like it in Vermont, in my first nice apartment on my own. I loved living there and so my new old mirror represents an old and a new special time in my life - now shared with Scott and all who enter our home. Gotta get it put up. [And I managed to get Tip in there - he's my big love...but he's not an inanimate object!]
So there you have it. I will tag Scott and Mama Zen, if they would like to play. I think I'm gonna post my helpful, useful items separately b/c I was thinking about all these products I'd like to recommend to you! Coming soon...
~Ally

*See the rules for this meme here.

I'm thinking of a meme...

Is it animal, vegetable, or mineral? No, but seriously. I want to start a wave focused on home and gratefulness. And what makes us tick. And what we wouldn't want to live without. It's called Happy in My Home And here's how it would go.

1) You take photos of five special objects in your home that delight you or make your life easier or that you are glad to have discovered. (Could be your favorite book you keep re-reading or a great cleaning product or your cozy sweater, whatever.)

2) You describe for us why you love these things - and if it's a product others might like, feel free to link us to where to find it.

3) You can tag a few friends or just leave it as an open tag on your posting - a "Play if you feel inspired" kind of thing.

Want to play? I'll gather my objects this weekend and try to post by Sunday or Monday.

[I should say for the record, I am not a big weekend post-er, but please always check back by Monday.]

~Ally

Make the World Better

In an effort to change the [my] world with positive words, I am starting a new game and you can feel free to *tag* yourself if you want to play (and I will love reading your answers). It's called
"10 Things That Make the World Better."

5 Very Good Things About My Spouse:
1. Scott is a stable worker and good provider - I always know he'll help pay the mortgage.
2. He is sensitive and empathetic. He's easy to talk to.
3. He's great at yard and home stuff, unpacking after a move and nesting in general.
4. He makes me laugh. Sometimes we get downright slaphappy.
5. Scott is artistic and creative and it's wonderful to watch him work on an art project.

5 Very Good Things About Me:
1. Though it takes effort, I can almost always come to forgive others.
2. Until you prove me wrong, I will believe that you have a good heart and are doing the best you can.
3. I can make delicious spaghetti, nachos, and lentil stew.
4. I try to be accepting of people from all walks of life.
5. You can usually make me laugh and usually never offend me.

I'm grateful for you, my dear Internet friends. What makes your world better?
~Allison

Thursday Thirteen

So I have been tagged by my friend Kristin at Jilli Java and the Garden of Eden to post 13 uninteresting things about me. Only 13?? There are so many.... ;)

1. i have the most uncomfortable desk chair in the whole wide world (okay, at least in this office).

2. my sweet little Pansie plant has been moved to the window in my office - it's sufferin' from lack of light.

3. i work in a seriously dysfunctional office.

4. my dreams of being a spelling champion were dashed on my first word out (grade 2? or 3?) when i misspelled scientist by "sounding it out"....S-C-I-E-N-C-E-T-I-S-T. Wah!!!!!! damn phonics method.

5. i bribed Scott to clean the interior of my car last night by promising to go to bed early rather than continuing to snooze on the couch in front of a blaring TV. or wait, did he bribe me? hmm.

6. my whole marriage may have been determined by one massive Chinese lunch. (thank God!)

7. i had minor surgery on my wrist last fall, for tendinitis, and it STILL is not healed. there's a bright red scar there and things inside the wrist still hurt. whassup with that?

8. i now have a three-month-at-a-time calendar by my desk and i love it so much. perfect gift for a planner.

9. i really, really want us to add an English Setter to our family.

10. i also want a Pug, but my husband flat out refuses. i got a big lecture about how we all have to love the members of our family, blah blah blah, and he just doesn't think he can love a Pug for the next 14-17 years. alrrrright. though i have said if i turn out to be barren (God forbid), i am so getting three Pugs and carrying them everywhere in a wicker basket, society be damned! ;)

11. i secretly have a Rod Stewart CD that i love...but if you bring this up again, i will deny it.

12. i can't get the tile in my bathroom clean. one of many domestic failings.

13. i have an unusual attachment to grey sweaters. and to spelling it "grey."

~Ally

p.s. I'm tagging Marie, Tootsie Farklepants, Carolyn, Deb and Scott -- you're it!