Poems for Sunday

I swear the earth shall surely be complete to him or
her who shall be complete,
The earth remains jagged and broken only to him
or her who remains jagged and broken.

I swear there is no greatness or power that does not
emulate those of the earth,
There can be no theory of any account unless it
corroborate the theory of the earth,
No politics, song, religion, behavior, or what not,
is of account, unless it compare with the
amplitude of the earth,
Unless it face the exactness, vitality, impartiality,
rectitude of the earth.

~Walt Whitman


---

To live content with small means,
to seek elegance rather than luxury,
and refinement rather than fashion,
to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich,
to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly,
to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart,
to bear all cheerfully,
do all bravely,
await occasions,
hurry never--
in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious,
grow up through the common.
This is to be my symphony.

~William Ellery Channing

Simple Woman's Day Book

The Simple Woman's Daybook

April 5, 2012

Outside My Window...it is cloudy and chilly, the perfect weather for Maundy Thursday.

I am thinking...how there must be so many lonely mothers who have decided to stay home with their kids to raise them, but are desperate for some adult human interaction, especially in the late winding hours of afternoon.

I am thankful for...my parents having stayed together all those years, because even though I don't know how to do it, i know it can be done, and that gives me hope.

From the kitchen...i should be making some banana bread to thank that lovely mom in town who gave me a bunch of leftover baby food jars and diapers, via our new babysitter.

I am wearing...a bizarre, somewhat mismatched outfit. maybe today is the day to get my clothes unpacked finally and sorted out. oh, but a nap seems like a better choice...

I am creating...a Thank You project for me and the husband to do on a daily basis, as we are both feeling underappreciated and undercherished at the moment. gotta remedy that.

I am going...to try and join the local Zumba class on thursday nights. i really want to meet people, and do something active and fun. my hearts needs this.

I am reading... Joshua: A Parable for Today by Joseph Girzone.

I am hoping...to revive our family happiness in this new town and new house. already scott seems much happier here than in our previous home. but miracles take time and i am hoping that bit by bit, we will both come to a place of joy and contentment.

I am hearing...my father in my head a lot lately. he always seems to be sending me messages and for the most part, they are less judgy and more gentle than when he was here on earth. my view of life after death changed somewhat while reading a silly novel called "Saving Fish From Drowning," and i now always think of my father as possessing divine all-knowingness in his new status, whatever it may be. it has helped our "relationship."

Around the house...is one chaotic pile of mess after another. we moved about two weeks ago and i had work conferences going on at the same time. we have barely had a chance to stop and breathe. we have a LOT of work to do to get this house feeling like home!

One of my favorite things...is regular old day-to-day life with laurel, and i got a slice of that heaven last saturday when she came to visit overnight with the boys. i just wish we lived in the same town. i really need that daily-ness for the health of my soul. it fills me up so beautifully.

A few plans for the rest of the week...are continuing to prep for my next upcoming conference at work, and then unpacking and family time - hopefully a little bonding - and then some friendly socializing over Easter dinner at mom's with some of her/our friends. lucy does love her some partying.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

Miss Nine Months Old, as photographed by Daddy, Scott Snyder, this morning.

And tomorrow is the full moon...
View other entries at The Simple Woman's Daybook. And write your own!

~Ally

Good Things

A list for Caralee, my dear friend who is sick in her body but not in her heart:

GOOD THINGS:

The first day of spring when you roll down the car windows to feel that whoosh of cool air.

Trading in your shoes and socks for sandals and painted toenails.

Getting a real letter in the mail!

Finding a fiver in your pocket from last year.

Not having to wait for the cable guy from 2-5 (that's as close as we can estimate...).

Cats rolling around on their backs on the patio because, oh, it feels soooo good!

Putting the plants back outside and hoping, waiting, for flowers to bloom.

Having an old friend come visit you with no agenda, just wanting to be with you a while.

Getting a compliment from your boss at work!

Getting a raise (even better...).

The first day of softball weather - you know what I'm talking about. Mmmm.

Homemade meals where you can actually taste the love cooked in.

A delightful surprise!

Daffodils - 'nuff said.

White birch trees standing like ghosts on the edge of the water.

Cooking out the first steak of summer (which we did on Saturday).

Walking in the woods with your mom.

Looking through old pictures that make you laugh all over again.

Campfires. Oh, that smell!

Snuggling up with a warm puppy dog who is so, so tired.

Cats with extra toes (believe me, and O'Reilly, this is a constant delight)!

Writing out your thoughts and feelings.

Time to sew.

The joy of waiting for someone you love to walk through that door.

Knowing you are loved.

Love you Caralee! Many blessings and hugs~

Ally

Back row: sisters Laurie and Jennifer

Front row: Kaylee (the pooch), dad Emerson, Caralee, and mom Doris

and this is Caralee's favorite muttsky, Kaylee

(photos by Emerson)

Vacation Day 1 (Attempt to get to Alabama)

We actually started our vacation as of Friday after work. We went to Mom's Spring Concert in Gilford and saw a delightful group of singers lift up their voices in joy. Great start.

Then Saturday the 16th, rawther early if you ask me, we started our vacation with hopefulness. Look at Scottie, enjoying his flight and everything.Since Delta and Northworst have joined forces (for the propagation of evil, it turns out), they have developed these cheery little marketing cookies, called "Biscoff." Mmm. We ate lots of them, as we were shuffled to a bazillion flights, instead of the two we paid for.
Long about the time they diverted us to Memphis, TN - what?? - instead of Birmingham, AL, we got suspicious. I entertained myself by playing the game What if we are the cast of LOST - you know, who would be the main group and who would be the Others, which of these passengers could likely build a shelter, who would have a bad attitude, a drug problem, or be secretly pregnant...
We did manage to find the world's LARGEST calculator in one of the airports, sure to come in handy for our island misadventures.
This fine gentleman appeared on the plane in Memphis, and had words with the pilot as to whether or not he could/would fix the infamous "broken radar" (whatever that means).
After three - yes, THREE - times unboarding and reboarding the plane in Memphis, we finally got off the ground. However we did get a little concerned after time two, when we saw the pilot and staff (below) running away from our plane with their suitcases! Ack.
Needless to say, we got to know our fellow passengers quite well. This was one of the friendly, nice ones. [Had we been the cast of Survivor, we totally would have formed an alliance with him, and would not have voted him off...] Once we got to Alabama at midnight, instead of 4:00 p.m., we had to rent a car and drive to Pete and Fran's house.
We were sad we missed dinner with Scott's brother Steve, Susan, and the kids, and that we missed time with Mom and Dad; but all in all, it worked out. We didn't get our knickers in a twist, and we stayed in relatively good spirits. Why? I asked myself the same question, because patience in airports is not my strong point. I attribute it to the growing phenomenon I call "contentment with our lives." I just feel more at ease with my life these days, and therefore, better able to deal with momentary chaos. And I'm grateful for this.

Day 2 adventures in 'Bama and Tennessee to come. Stay tuned!

~Ally

Just before bed...

10 things I'm grateful for:

1) Some interesting job leads.

2) Time to visit with friends.

3) Robin and the Englishman are going to England again - I will miss them but they will be happy there. So I'm grateful on their behalf.

4) Tip is getting his appetite back (and not puking on the rug).

5) Scott's back is getting much better.

6) My two chiropractors (and thank God for them) got married - to each other! What fun.

7) Baby A is growing and happy and the new family is doing quite well.

8) Robin gave me an enormous begonia plant, in a brightly colored pot that will remind me always of her.

9) Mom and I posted an ad for our editing services - so we are in business!

10) I finally realized (and told Scott) why I have become a leisurely country driver in New Hampshire: I am finally content. Even when I get anxious or stressed in my mind, in my heart here, I am content. Blissful.

Thankful. And off to bed.
~Allison

Let's revisit this image.

I think it's time.

Back to the Audubon Trails

We went back to the Audubon trails after Scott got home from work. I had a long day of job hunting and was just getting ready to go to the grocery store when he arrived. I was glad to be distracted and taken to somewhere lovely to wander as the sun set. I practiced my "ant's eye view" again.

I have been v interested in bugs lately - which is not at all like me - and fascinated with photographing them.

I think this little bug is a lightning bug.
And a beautiful bee - click to enlarge.

Here's a mystery bug. What great antennae!
Everything in these fields smells so sweet. It's a heavenly summer scent. I could drink it in.

The photographer...
It was easy to lose time there. Everything was interesting.
I think this is a strange insect of some sort. Anyone seen it before?
The clouds rolled in the most majestic ways tonight as the sun set.

Upside down, and right side up.
The sun sets.
So easy to feel loved, so simple to be grateful on a night like this.
Happy Tuesday to you.
~Allison

Happy, Are We?

So the world appears to be getting happier. Read this short article and see if you agree.

~Ally

Quiet Spaces

At the poetry reading the other night, a woman said to me she hasn't had time to write as she's been too busy, hasn't had the time to quiet down. I know what she means. We live at such a hectic pace, always in motion, trying to jam seventeen things in every short minute, often wishing we could have done more. I am finding some quiet finally. I am rather happy.

Until now, I haven't had much to say since my job was eliminated and I found myself flung into an unexpected life situation. I worked on polishing up my resume, finding a new job, making the right calls and not making the wrong ones. One day a connection with a job lead, the next, a long-overdue lunch with mom. Then reading a poem - in public - to spice things up. (The audience was kind, by the way, and the poem was well received. Thanks for your encouragement!)

But today as I sat in the car and at a red light, I found myself hurriedly jotting down posts I want to write. On quiet spaces, moments of wonder (to come), and topics yet to be revealed. I am quieting down. I learn to segment and gently protect my days. Finally at the end of last week, I said "no" to an invite: I need some time for me, to breathe, find out what's happened to me, see where we're headed next.

As the noise of busyness slips away, these are some quiet things I have had the luxury of enjoying:

1) Tending my plants. I pour over them daily now, watching the minuscule progress. A blue ceramic pot holds wonderful yellow marigolds. Rain grew the leaves tall, almost hiding the three flowers among green. Two new buds promise more color. I can't wait.

2) Cooking for Laurel. She has had the baby (gorgeous Gabriel) and is recovering. In a new home (we moved them last Saturday), she rests. I envision myself in an Italian kitchen...I crank up the oven each day and make a huge mess (of love) and I will bring her piles of food soon (casseroles, frozen meals, easy to prepare and wolf down without hassling). Food is love where I come from.

3) Missing Robin. She's gone to England for several weeks and I feel the lack of her presence. I hope the next few are happy days for her, making good memories to soothe her heart from recent trials. She deserves a break.

4) Taking care of my body. Went to the chiro today. Reminded me how much I need a massage. Trying to tend this body of mine, remember its fibromyalgia, be a little kinder and gentler. That said, also hoping to lose some weight in my new life without work, eating out and comforting myself with food after hard days at the office. I have time to walk, stretch, and move now. Want to use the time well.

5) Sleep. Sometimes you just need to catch up. And it is good.

Are you finding any quiet spaces (inside or out)?
~Allison

I'm taking a day off

No, not off blogging. Don't be silly! Off work. Wait, don't be silly. I'm unemployed! But I'm taking a day off trying to solve/fix/save the world.

**Wonder Woman has left the building.**

Thursday will not include job hunting, calling unemployment, making important contacts, following job leads, researching companies, stockpiling savings, selling off wares, or anything else productive. It will also not include haircuts, long drives to and fro, editing and proofreading, making calls to horrible customer service hotlines, or going to the grocery store. It will be void of lists, charting, plotting, planning, maneuvering, and fixing of any kind.

Thursday will include relaxing, being happy, chatting with friends, checking blogs, fussing over my plants, maybe a little laundry, very possibly an episode of Boston Public, some Style Network, some munching on goodies, petting the dog and watching the world go by.

Thursday is for me, a post-trauma, settle down, take a break, be okay and be happy day.

Thursday night I am doing my first ever public poetry reading. So I guess Thursday better include a couple practice read-throughs too.

Looking forward to Thursday.

Do'h!

Ah, what a relief. My job was eliminated, and so now I can blog in peace, without wondering who is reading what. Ahhhh. Breathing sigh of relief.

That said, does anyone want to pay my mortgage this month? A ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

(read: maniacal laughter...possibly leading to short outbursts of tears and then overpowering rage and then sadness and then laughter and then tears and then....you get the idea.)

Good times.

Allison

Happy in My Home

Here are five of my favorite things:
1) Pig
I got Pig on a romantic weekend with Scott in Ogunquit, Maine (the town where we got married). Pig was in a cute little shop full of artsy, whimsical creations, called Art & Soul. Scott loved the store but did not get why I loved Pig. Now Scott likes Pig even less, as Pig seems to always be staring at him (a ha ha ha). I broke Pig's tail off in the store. I tried to get a discount at the checkout. [Why did I do that when I broke his tail??] Needless to say, Pig was worth every penny.
I had to post one extra picture of Pig's profile. What a gorgeous Pig.
2) Bass Lake Coasters
My cousin Karen sent these for me and I just received them unexpectedly this weekend! We have a family lake cottage on Bass Lake, and all us kids grew up there, swimming, playing, having bonfires, watching fireworks, putting on plays for the neighbors while the crickets chirped. It's one of my favorite places on earth. 3) Our Name Platters
These beautiful platters were a gift from Rebecca for our wedding. They were made by a woman she calls Auntie Goldie, who runs Earthworks pottery studio in Barbados. I've been there and it's a beautiful shop, and Goldie is a wonderful woman.
4) The Cart
Thank God we finally bought the cart - it took us a year and a half to get around to it! Now I don't have to make thirty-seven trips when bringing in groceries. I LOVE the cart. $20 at the grocery store. Yeah!
5) The Old Mirror
We have been looking for the right mirror for our entryway and after two years, we finally found it. I love it. $4 from a massive yard sale and a guy who was happy to sell it to us. I had a mirror quite like it in Vermont, in my first nice apartment on my own. I loved living there and so my new old mirror represents an old and a new special time in my life - now shared with Scott and all who enter our home. Gotta get it put up. [And I managed to get Tip in there - he's my big love...but he's not an inanimate object!]
So there you have it. I will tag Scott and Mama Zen, if they would like to play. I think I'm gonna post my helpful, useful items separately b/c I was thinking about all these products I'd like to recommend to you! Coming soon...
~Ally

*See the rules for this meme here.

I'm thinking of a meme...

Is it animal, vegetable, or mineral? No, but seriously. I want to start a wave focused on home and gratefulness. And what makes us tick. And what we wouldn't want to live without. It's called Happy in My Home And here's how it would go.

1) You take photos of five special objects in your home that delight you or make your life easier or that you are glad to have discovered. (Could be your favorite book you keep re-reading or a great cleaning product or your cozy sweater, whatever.)

2) You describe for us why you love these things - and if it's a product others might like, feel free to link us to where to find it.

3) You can tag a few friends or just leave it as an open tag on your posting - a "Play if you feel inspired" kind of thing.

Want to play? I'll gather my objects this weekend and try to post by Sunday or Monday.

[I should say for the record, I am not a big weekend post-er, but please always check back by Monday.]

~Ally

Stars

If you are the least bit in need of love or beauty, awakening or amazement, watch this video, to the tune of "Stars" by The Weepies (thanks, Marie).

My heart is growing just listening and watching it. Like when the Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day.

~Al

Color Quiz

Just took a Color Quiz to determine supposed insights into my personality. Here are my results.

Allison took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Needs a peaceful environment. Wants release from s..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

Eerily accurate, I'd say. Hmm.

~Allison

Listening

Deb at Hoping for Grace posted this striking quote a while back:

The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you, but what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says, but rather to what he does not say. - Kahlil Gibran

I have been having trouble really listening to Scott lately - really hearing him or offering compassion. More often, I have been aggravated or frustrated, giving up on him until he gets over it. He is on an emotional roller-coaster right now, coming off the nic for good, and he has little ability to see the world outside himself, and I have little patience for it. We are a real pair.

"Listen not to what he says, but rather to what he does not say." He has not felt comfortable in his own skin. He has not felt like being around people. He has not expressed much love toward me. He has not said anything hopeful in a while. Maybe I can give him some kindness, some love, some space, and some hopeful things to think on.

He has not said he does not love me. He has not said he is bored or sick of it all. He has not said he will start smoking again (thank God). So maybe I need to chill, give it some time. He has not said he gave up on having a baby. He never said that. I need to stop my traveling mind in its tracks.

What do you do when you don't know which direction to take next? Keep going forward until you know.

Relax, kitty. Hopeful thought: this isn't going to last forever. This isn't all there is to us. We are so much more, so much good.

Breathing.

~Al

Love This

from May 2 on Shoeboxblog.com
--

That's pretty much what I've been trying to accomplish with my whole life.