This Simple Woman's Day Book

The Simple Woman's Day Book . . .


FOR TODAY, March 26, 2010

Outside My Window... it has turned to night. The sun stays out longer now and the air has been quite warm, though today, evening brought a chill with it. New Hampshire is officially in Springtime, as the snow and ice have melted, buds have begun on the bravest of trees, and the ticks, bees, geese, and even one sly black fly have returned. Don't they know it's only March? Ripe time for a blizzard. But our pool house opened today and we have forgotten our mittens and shovels altogether.

I am thinking... how amazing it is that a song, a scent, or the words of a stranger can evoke the strongest heart pulls toward an old friend. Last night, I heard a Little Song by Sarah Jarosz that made me long in my heart for my friend Molly, whom I have not seen in years. Today, the scented oil at the massage therapist reminded me of Amy - and now that sweet smell is on my skin, continuing to bring me back to my dear sister-like friend. Some moments in life never fade on the inside, and we are blessed by the unexpected reminders.

I am thankful for... the wonderful women with whom I work - who are kind, generous, and able to laugh at themselves. Today at work we celebrated Social Workers' Month. In Hospice, this is a particularly hard job, not for the weak of heart. I used to know a woman who worked with Aids patients. I wondered how she could endure such pain and suffering on a daily basis. Now I know that it is in helping people through their most vulnerable, frightening, and fragile times that our hearts are strengthened to love more fully, listen more deeply, and relax into the ever-present changes of a life.

From the kitchen... Scott and I will soon be enjoying the L&A Sausage Quiche, which I made again last night. Delicious! Will make some blueberry muffins - good ol' 50 cent Jiffys are still the simplest and best in my opinion - and maybe a salad to accompany the eggy pie.

I am wearing... jammies, since I am a) off work, b) home, and c) ready to enjoy a relaxing weekend! It's movie night here at Snyderville tonight - we are deciding between a scary one (Sixth Sense), a silly one (Boat Trip), and an interesting one (The Real Dirt on Farmer John).

I am creating... new habits of relaxation and de-stressing my body. Each day I work on stretching, sleeping, and bringing down my crazy by deep breathing, meditating, reading on my lunch hour, or taking in the natural world around me.

I am going... to a moving party tomorrow. Sarge, my 84-yr old friend is finally moving out of the big family house and into some more affordable apartment housing. It will be a big relief for those of us who do his finances and help with his complicated old man life. But it will probably be hard for him to leave that old house. He loves his yard projects, his gardening, his "home improvement" ventures, and most of all, his independence. How will we convince him that living in an apartment does not mean he isn't independent? And he will be right downtown, able to do all the walking and visiting he loves, shopping in his daily haunts and running up his tab at Madeleine's. All good things. His wife died in that house, and he has put in 50 years of love, sweat, and toil. I hope tomorrow he will be buoyed by friendship and laughter, and not too sad.

And FOR TODAY, March 29, 2010

I am reading...
The Elegant Gathering of White Snows, by Kris Radish

This is an amazing book that tells the stories of eight women who decide one night to take off from their lives and begin walking through the night, and then many following days. They are on a pilgrimage of sorts to think about and evaluate their lives, sharing sorrows and unraveling the tales of how they experienced life. I don't know how to put it in graceful words, but this book is very powerful and moving. Each woman's life is part of the universal story of women everywhere. It is definitely worth reading. I have been enjoying it bit by bit on my lunch hours, falling into the prose and not wanting to stop reading.

I am hoping... I have so many hopes right now I don't know where to begin. But I am also thinking on a principle from Donna Q. about how the combination of our longings and self loathing thoughts form a constant circle of frustration. Our attachments to wants and "shoulds" bind rather than free us. But meanwhile, a few of my hopes are: that Sarge can accept and delight in his new life in the apartment; that Caralee can have a break from her cancer pain and suffering and enjoy the many last days of her life; that Lauren will find a close woman friend in Mexico to share her joys, thoughts, and burdens; that my grandmas will feel loved and well taken care of in Indiana and Minnesota; that Kenda's wedding plans will bring her joy and turn into a wonderful day she will love remembering; that Laurel's new job will be a blessing to her; that my father and Grandpa C. will know they are loved and remembered, wherever they are; and that Dad will send a special blessing to Mom for their anniversary this weekend.

I am hearing... the hum of the noisy but comforting refrigerator. It is time for bed and I am avoiding the start of a new and exhausting week. But I am grateful to not be experiencing The Sunday Night Dread, as I have been lucky enough to find a job I like.

Around the house... are piles of tasks waiting to be accomplished - laundry, financial papers, my new pine cone project (from beautiful branches I gathered on our walk at the Pine Barrens on Saturday), library books to return, movies to watch and return, Pete's birthday present to mail and Easter goodies to be stuffed in baskets...the list goes on and on...

One of my favorite things... is cooking for someone else. Tonight I enjoyed making an Aztec Casserole for a dear friend and nurse with whom I work. I bribed her with Mexican food so she'd work an extra on-call shift tomorrow. I happily prepared her meal tonight, while listening to traditional mariachi love songs and cooking up a storm. I also made homemade cornbread for the first time, and it was yummy! Scott and I thoroughly enjoyed our Mexican treats before K. gets the rest tomorrow. I love cooking for my husband too.

A Few Plans for the Rest of the Week... I did a lot of my errands and appointments last week. So this week I will spend time with Scott, work on finances and budgeting, clean up the house, and get ready for Easter with Mom on Saturday and Sunday. I bought the eggs to be colored and the goodies to fill Easter baskets, and gathered some special pine cone twigs for decorating. What am I, Martha Stewart? I also desperately need a haircut, so maybe I can make that happen this week. Do the world a favor, right??

Here is picture thought I am sharing...


And there you have it, my Simple Woman's Day Book. View other entries at Simple Woman's Day Book. Try writing one yourself! It makes a lovely snapshot of your life, as it is - perfect in all its beautiful imperfection - today.

~Ally

Possibilitarian

Marie, at A Year From Oak Cottage, encourages us all to be Possibilitarians!
Here's a short excerpt from her post...

"Well, the word possibilitarian was invented by a man called Norman Vincent Peale, who I am sure most of you will have heard of. This wonderful man rose from poverty to become one of the world's most loved and best selling authors, and this word means . . . A person, who, no matter how dark things are . . . raises his sights."

Read on...

~Ally

Thanks and Dreams

Tip: Check out the great new painting "Woofstock" at Time with Tascha.

Hello friends~

Thought I'd do a brief gratefulness list:

1. Scott's daughter Hillary and her husband Dustie are doing well with the kids. But say a prayer for them, as they are grieving the loss of Dustie's brother who passed unexpectedly.

2. My friendship with the little old man is coming together nicely, and I think of the time spent as "volunteer work." Doing nice things for him is helping me as much as it helps him.

3. Mom and I plowed through two weeks of old moldy boxes - remnants of several previous cross country moves - and pitched about 80% of all of that stuff. Don't worry, Lauren, we kept all the memorabilia and great children's books. We cleaned and repacked everything to keep and we will be mold free very soon!

4. No hives from the mold. Yeehaw!

5. Despite uncovering MAJOR political and idealistic differences between me and my old friends reclaimed on Facebook, I have rekindled some old friendships. Bringing Past Allison and Present Allison together must be good for self-development. Right?

And a few dreams:

1. I would love to have a little curly-haired daughter with big green eyes someday; we will walk hand in hand through Autumn leaves in the park, chasing the dogs and kicking leaves wherever we go. We will tell secrets at night and sing every song we know in the dark, with a candle burning (just like Lauren and I did with our mom). She will probably be too smart for her own good and emotional like me (and Scott), but she will be irresistible because of those qualities.

2. We hope to find a big farm house with a mother-in-law cottage, on a few acres in NH or Vermont. Mom will live with us part of the year, and have enough money to go back and forth to Mexico and stay with Lauren and Co. We will have some dogs and maybe a llama or three, a few rascally goats, and a brown-eyed cow.

3. I want to have a burial plot for Dad at the Blossom Hill Cemetery (also called Calvary Cemetery) in Concord. I want to be able to stop there on the way home from work and say a few words to him, tend the flowers, and rest.

What's on your heart these days?

~Ally

Update on the pending Baby Haley

Baby Haley is still in the oven, thank God. Every day she gets a little bigger and stronger, we hope, and more ready for life on the outside. I bet she is perfecting her backstroke, or at least her Downward Facing Dog by now.

Hillary - mom - is doing okay but struggling through the ridiculosity of "complete bed rest" with five children. Riiiight. If I had any money, I would send her a nanny. If I had any money, I would go down to TN and help her out, make some casseroles, pop some Blues Clues on the DVD and let the poor girl sleep while me and the troops have a teddy bear tea party...or more likely, a Spiderman save-the-universe party.

She has three boys and two girls. And Sweet Baby Haley on the way.

Her husband is working like a maniac, but struggling like we all are, since he was laid off of his "real job" and is doing whatever work he can find in the meantime.

Oh, may the energy and vitality of youth sustain you all. May the hopefulness of each day's end bring you encouragement. And may there be rest, somewhere in the midst of it all.

You can do this, Girl! We love you! xo

~Ally

Egypt hopes for truce

Palestinian children on Wednesday play in the rubble of houses in Jabaliya, northern Gaza, destroyed during Israel’s 22-day offensive in the Gaza Strip (AFP photo)

Egypt said on Wednesday it hoped for a breakthrough over the next few days towards a firm ceasefire between Israel and Hamas, suggesting that it may not happen by Thursday, Egypt's original target date... [the rest of the story]

Sensing the Light

"The presence of that absence is everywhere." ~ Edna St. Vincent Millay








Oh Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder
Consider all the worlds thy hands have made
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power throughout the universe displayed

Then sings my soul, my savior, God to thee
How great thou art, how great thou art
Then sings my soul, my savior, God to thee
How great thou art, how great thou art.

(Stuart Hine)

~Ally

Free Things to Do Over the Holidays

For those of us economically challenged this year, I compiled a list of cost-free activities you can enjoy - depending, of course, on your weather, location, and resources. If you have some other suggestions, or location-specific additions, please Comment below!

Fun and Free - for a Holly Jolly

1. Sing Christmas carols. If you don't remember the words, look them up here.

2. Take a walk while holding the hand of a friend (or spouse or niece or the leash of a puppy). Hold hands while crossing the street - no, you are not too old to do it.

3. Play "catch the snowball" with your dog - hours of fun!

4. Write a family Gratefulness list to hang on the wall. Add things as they pop into your mind three days later.

5. Put some of your photos into albums...it's time. Or if you have three bazillion digital photos stored in your computer, print some of those bad boys.

6. Tell the children funny stories about when their parents were growing up. Try explaining the concept of Atari (and don't worry - they will think you are totally lame, but we know you are wicked cool). Give them the old "we walked to school uphill both ways, barefoot" story. It's time they heard it again.

7. Play board games like Taboo, Balderdash, Scrabble, Life, and Stratego, or card games like Hearts, Gin Rummy, SlapJack, Euchre or Spades.

8. Make a fort in the living room out of chairs and blankets, with rationed goodies inside (Cheezits, Cheerios, chocolate chips, cookies - apparently foods that start with "C").

9. Put on your favorite album that you forgot about. Play it loud. Lie next to the speaker and listen for incredible harmonic undertones. Marvel at the genius of Dave Matthews...or Dave Brubeck. Or any other Dave you happen to like.

10. Practice putting on makeup. You never quite learned it right the first time, did you? Me neither.

11. Soap up everyone's hair and see who can make the most funny hair sculpture. YouTube it, Baby!

12. Get big pieces of paper and make your "Map of the World," including anything important in your world. Share it with a friend.

13. Write in your journal. I know you have some thoughts just waiting to spill out. Or if not, try your hand at a Haiku (5-7-5). Poetry always cheers the soul.

14. Play in the snow! Try building an igloo. You're gonna need a bucket of water and some good warm gloves. If it's the first snowfall of the season, get your boots on and stomp a message in a big open field!

15. Clean out your closets [for the dear Capricorns who have to do something useful before they can be frivolous]; then rip apart the panty hose that always strangle you. Life is too short for that kind of pain.

16. Make hard boiled eggs. You do have time.

17. If you are somewhere warm, go swimming on behalf of those of us freezing in New England!

18. Tell your dad you love him. Do it.

19. Do a favor for your neighbor: get groceries, shovel a walkway, wash the car, take out the trash barrels, or walk the dog (who will become instantly devoted to you).

20. Decorate the house with crazy stuff you found in the yard (thinking more along the lines of pine boughs, berries, sticks, and grapevines than of grass clippings and dog doo...you knew that, right?).

Have fun, dears! There is no reason we have to go broke just because it's Christmas, or Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, or Santa's Time, or just winter. Or summer, for those of you south of the border. Today is a day you can enjoy. Tell me how you'll spend yours! I am going to a free Christmas concert (in which Mom is singing!) with the fam, the kiddies, and the porkiest, cutest baby you ever saw. Yay.

Love, Ally xo

Obama on writing

(photo not by me)

Check out this page of Amazon.com, and scroll down to 20 Second Interview, to read a quick Q&A with Barack Obama on his writing process and ideas. This is located under the description of his book, The Audacity of Hope. I found the interview v interesting and you may too.
~Ally

Dad

Well, the last few days have been really hard for us. Mom is now gone to Mexico and I have been feeling very alone. It is amazing how alone you can feel when a beloved parent disappears off the horizon. I really don't know how to chart the waters without Dad. Scott had an especially hard day today, with every moment full of Dad memories and a longing for his presence.

Today was also a special blessing because Lauren's baby, Caleb Benjamin, has arrived - and both are alive and healthy! I was in a blind panic - the kind you get suddenly whenever someone close to you has just died - waiting for news. I don't know what I would have done if something happened to Lauren. Thank you God.

I am not ready to talk about my father in past tense - I may never be. So here are a few things you might like to know about him. These are some of my favorites, today, to celebrate him two days before the horrid one month mark, and on 9/11 (now and forevermore to be known as The Day of New Life).

***Dad likes birds. Of course he is obsessively in love with loons. But he also likes other birds, large and small. He is always on the lookout for an eagle or an eagle's nest. He can name different hawks, knows the difference between a hawk and a buzzard, and knows the calls and natures of the Chickadee, Nuthatch, Blue Jay, Tufted Titmouse, American Robin, Cormorant, Red-Winged Blackbird, and Common Grackle, among others. Woodpeckers seem to always appear for him, especially at Bass Lake. Dad spots animals in the field as you drive along the highway - wild turkeys, deer, a fox, and the ever elusive moose. He is always looking for the infamous New Hampshire moose (and don't even bother arguing this, Hampsters - they barely exist).

Dad likes beer in cans: Coors Light, Miller Light, or Miller Genuine Draft. He loves salted mixed nuts, but likes sugar-coated walnuts or pecans even more. He has a wicked sweet tooth, and the older he gets, the more he is seen sneaking chocolate or cinnamon-sticky goodies into the house. He likes sandwich cookies, and always takes six, carrying them in a perfect stack in one hand. Oreos are a big hit.

Dad whistles in the car. He also has been known to break into song at the top of his lungs (particularly with the song "Maria" from West Side Story), with arms held out wide. "Blue Moon" seemed to be the soundtrack through my childhood, and he would change the words as he liked on the particular day...usually starting with, "Big Al, I saw you standing alone." He and mom often sit in the car in the garage if a good song is playing when they arrive home, to listen to the end. He had the big-time hots for Wonder Woman (a "You Go Girl" shout out to Linda Carter). He also thought Angelina was hot, but please, what guy didn't? (I never agreed with that one.)

Dad likes to give motivational speeches, and advice a-plenty. He likes to teach - God forbid you ask him about something he really knows (like insurance, marketing, motivation, positive thinking, fishing, loons, nature, history, science, et al). You are in for a long sit and you might as well settle in with a cold drink. When he smoked (which he did for over 50 years), he would sit on the back porch and drink his coffee, smoke, and watch the birds in the morning. He might take a tablet and pen and write some thoughts to organize his day. Lauren reminded me he used to put inspirational phrases to himself on his screen saver, like, "Just write one chapter this week, Larry - the book is pretty good!"

Though he is a major motivator, encourager, and mentor (apparently, to many, as the sympathy cards and emails attest), he could be seriously grumpy and cranky and depressed. Years of his life were cloaked in depression, until he finally, FINALLY tried some anti-depressants. And then he/we recovered his lovely inner self. He liked to go to The Pub at this time and tell the crotchety old fishermen and underemployed construction workers to try anti-depressants. "It'll change your life; it did mine," he would say. Quite humorous really.

He is a big-time fisherman and is quite good at it. For no reason I can uncover, the rest of us never learned to drive the damn boat, and so now it will probably be sold. Mom says we don't know how to drive it because Dad never let anyone drive it. Ahem. He also never let me mow the lawn (what?) and now I don't know how. Ridiculous. Well, once he let me try the riding lawnmower in Pennsylvania, but I near ran it into the shed because I didn't know how to stop or turn it. Dear god. So that was the end of that.

Dad is a very good writer and has completed one book of fishing/life memoirs and one book on loon species and his love of loons (that's what Scott says it's about b/c he laid out the book, spending countless hours with it). Dad has a 100% article submission-to-publication rate, which he is very proud of. (To us writers, that's an incredible statistic.) He has written many articles for newspapers, magazines, online publications, and countless insurance newsletters. He never minded ghost writing for Presidents and Vice-Presidents of his insurance companies. But he also went on to publish many things under his own name.***

Dad is woven through me in so many ways. We have a practically matching personality, same level of inner angst, unfortunate temperamental digestive system, ability to sympathize and empathize, desire to help others in need (particularly in the local community - Dad always said, "Charity starts at home and goes outward from there"), mushy sentimentality and propensity for getting choked up to tears at family events, and the same crazed, impulsive energy, to be shortly followed by a desire for blob-like inactivity. We both like to read, to learn continually, to share holidays with as much family as possible, to hide at times, to keep things in, and to let things out by writing them.

I miss him terribly. He is and was a good, good man. He has always been a perfect father. He constantly yelled, "Who's the greatest Dad you ever had?!?" You are. Love you Daddy.
~Ally

Grandma Dorothy

In midst of unemployment stress and waves of panic, I took some time this afternoon to work on Grandma's book, which Mom is taking to her in MN tomorrow. Grandma Dorothy is my mom's mother and she lives in a nursing home with Alzheimer's. She's one of the loveliest people I've ever known, and reading the memoirs/life history Lauren and I wrote about her in January reminded me just how special she is.

So in an effort to be hopeful (and Grandma Dorothy is all about hope), I will jot down a few lessons she has taught me:

1) Always look on the bright side. In the nursing home, she is known for answering the "How are you, Dorothy" question with, "I'm a little better than I was yesterday."

2) There is always someone near you who needs a little love. I will never forget seeing her in the nursing home, early on. She was in a sea of her own dementia, starting to have trouble walking down the halls alone (she liked to have you guide her by the elbow), and trying to adjust to her new life. But she would stop and pat the shoulder or head of each wheelchair-bound, drooling or muttering person in the hallways as she walked by. She always had a kind word for the ones worse off.

3) There's always time for a visit. Grandma Dorothy always has her loved ones in the forefront of her mind. She likes to recount the stories of her life to anyone who will listen. And she's always ready for a visit. She couldn't wait for us to get there, each and every time we visited. One thing I noticed as I read the brief synopsis of her life today was that she never ever seemed too busy to be with us kids. She never brushed us off or said she didn't have time.

4) If your faith changes along the way, God can take it. She has always held onto her faith, though it shifts and changes with time. Grandma prays continually, often now out loud here and there, as if a rolling conversation is going on between her and God.

5) A shoulder rub and a little song will help. Many a bad mood, ache and pain, loneliness, and sorrow were healed by a few minutes with someone rubbing your shoulders and singing a favorite old song. Grandma Dorothy is willing to be cheered, and I love her for that.

So here's a little song you love, Grandma:

I'm forever blowing bubbles
Pretty bubbles in the air
They fly so high
That they touch the sky

Then they burst-- into-- the air

Oh, I'm forever blowing bubbles
Pretty bubbles in the air
I'm forever blowing bubbles
Pretty bubbles, everywhere!


I do feel better.
~Ally

Let's revisit this image.

I think it's time.