Oh my....Chiapas is HUGE!

from wikipedia
"Chiapas (Spanish pronunciation: [ˈtʃjapas] (listen)), officially the Free and Sovereign State of Chiapas (Spanish: Estado Libre y Soberano de Chiapas), is one of the 32 states that make up the 32 federal entities of Mexico. It is divided into 124 municipalities as of September 2017^[9][10] and its capital city is Tuxtla Gutiérrez. Other important population centers in Chiapas include Ocosingo, Tapachula, San Cristóbal de las Casas, Comitán and Arriaga. It is the southernmost state in Mexico. It is located in Southeastern Mexico, and it borders the states of Oaxaca to the west, Veracruz to the northwest and Tabasco to the north,^[11] and by the Petén, Quiché, Huehuetenango and San Marcos departments of Guatemala to the east and southeast. Chiapas has a coastline along the Pacific Ocean to the south.

In general, Chiapas has a humid, tropical climate. In the north, in the area bordering Tabasco, near Teapa, rainfall can average more than 3,000 mm (120 in) per year. In the past, natural vegetation in this region was lowland, tall perennial rainforest, but this vegetation has been almost completely cleared to allow agriculture and ranching. Rainfall decreases moving towards the Pacific Ocean, but it is still abundant enough to allow the farming of bananas and many other tropical crops near Tapachula. On the several parallel "sierras" or mountain ranges running along the center of Chiapas, climate can be quite temperate and foggy, allowing the development of cloud forests like those of the Reserva de la Biosfera el Triunfo, home to a handful of resplendent quetzals and horned guans.

Chiapas is home to the ancient Mayan ruins of Palenque, Yaxchilán, Bonampak, Chinkultic and Toniná.^[12] It is also home to one of the largest indigenous populations in the country with twelve federally recognized ethnicities."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chiapas

Ten Minutes

There were several signs today that I was going to step in it one way or the other. Not that the day is over...

My horoscope started like this:
"You're learning, but you're just not quite there yet. The Fool signifies inexperience and, of course, a certain amount of foolishness when it comes to love...there is still plenty for you to learn...keep your eyes open for roadblocks along the way and try not to stumble over them." Riiiiight.

My mind was all over the place today, darting from one subject to the next, wandering, fixating, drifting....

I managed to get a good deal of work done despite it all. And bought a couch. And made some appts and managed some paperwork. But really, with the sheer amount of energy I had, a little focus would have been helpful.

I now have 7 minutes left to decompress the day before switching gears to Mommy Mode. Am about to go pick up Lucy for 1:1 time, Tuesdays w Lucy - one of my favorite days of the week. But I am anxious and nervous, as I often am before picking up the kids, and also too hyped up on caffeine.

I have been wanting to write all day but can't get the words out. I did a lot of business writing today, as well as editing, so that exercised the muscle. But there are things that need to be said. They will have to wait.

Another roller coaster today: my emotions. Honestly, maybe it's ALL due to too much caffeine!

I am on the verge with so many projects. The precipice. About ready to leap.

And in other personal projects, I have started, and now am in an uncomfortable place. Like the church project - I finally joined a group and now I find myself weekly in a very uncomfortable, ill-used space of thinking about and moreso, talking about, my faith. I told my friend about this yesterday and he said, "Well good for you for stretching yourself." It was then I realized, yes, that is what I am doing. Not entirely sure why but the time seemed right. I have been exploding with learning all year, and soaking it all up like a sponge. But this church thing...there are so many personal hurdles to overcome. I don't like that there isn't really anyone I can talk to about it.

Next day (2/19)
...Nobody else in my circle except for one friend shares my faith per se, and can discuss it openly. Most people I am close to reject religion or do not know how to talk about it. Speaking of unused muscles, I am now using one of mine.

I did make several goals w Rachel this year (side-by-side, but independent for the most part). I have managed to make progress on a few already! Only February! I make goals instead of resolutions. No point in making promises I can't keep...but having a direction to walk...that i find helpful. And I can use the goals as a navigational beacon throughout the year. I go back to them a lot.

Did revive my peer training project in the union at work, so that is positive. Also continue on the monthly newsletters. Have been serving friends in a variety of ways - and have been compelled to do so, even beyond what feels reasonable. I have been following my heart. And all works out.

I am doing a faith project re: finances and have completely redone my budget accordingly. This Sunday, I decided to sponsor a second child from Compassion International. Both boys are in Chiapas, Mexico, but that is a state and I don't have a handle on how big of a territory it is. Suppose I better do some research. I want to be more supportive emotionally and with letters to Cristian, and now we will also get to know Allejandro. He is a little older, maybe 11-12, and I hope he feels supported by us as the months go by. They said at church that the families receive a lot in terms of food, healthcare, education, resources when one child is sponsored. Often the siblings will rejoice when one gets chosen. That makes me happy.

I continue my intense project (with work friends) on racial bias, and so am v conscious right now of White Saviorism, and very much not interested in that effect. But this organization asked for help and the children are in extreme poverty and in dire need of assistance. The children ask for sponsorship, so I am going to proceed with love and humility. Thank you, God, for this opportunity to reach out to one the way I wish we could reach out to many.

Off to a meeting. More focused today. Rather productive. Also bored and a little iffy emotionally. But mostly fine.

Ally