A funny

from Shoeboxblog

Anniversary Findings

Scott took me around to local garden shops, greenhouses and farm stands for our anniversary a couple weeks ago. I picked out flowers, pumpkins, fall decorations, and orchard apples. A lovely day, just us.A picture I took for Marie. I know you love garden friends.
Fall maples.
Hydrangea in beautiful wedding colors.

Happy Fifth.
~Ally

Tippy

photo by Scott Snyder

Gave my baby a bath tonight. Snuggly fuzz bug. I'm so glad he's still alive.

This pic is of us last summer, 2007.

~Ally

Idea

Fear is a self-perpetuating entity. So is love.

~Ally

for Marie

You will be glad to hear the bird feeders (a.k.a. peanut butter and birdseed pinecones) have disappeared. Scott thinks the squirrels carried them off. They are nowhere to be found. Nor are the birds. So the fine feathered friends are safe* for another day.


*from my little hunters, that is.

That said, there was a dead mouse, entrails hanging out, in front of the stoop today. Hara-kiri? I think not. Well, the circle of life...

~Ally

Words

There are some of mine at Rock, Water and Light today.


;'[[./;

Those words are from Judy the Cat, who stepped lightly across the keys.


And from Rumi, today's teacher:

BIRDWINGS

Your grief for what you've lost lifts a mirror
up to where you're bravely working.

Expecting the worst, you look, and instead,
here's the joyful face you've been wanting to see.

Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes.
If it were always a fist or always stretched open,
you would be paralyzed.

Your deepest presence is in every small contracting
and expanding,
the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated
as birdwings.


***
~Ally

Photos

Pinecone

Friends: Red and the niecelings

Hoit Road Marsh: Reeds

Leaf

~Allison

Bawk!

When I got home today, there was a trail of fuzzy grey feathers along the fence, leading to a big pile of feathers under the, uh, birdfeeder. Oops.

Update

I love this picture. I will call it, "Determination."

So life goes on. I have been temping at a bankruptcy lawyer's office, and that work has been very interesting and nicely distracting. It feels good to discover I still have the work-work-work gene alive and well in me, when needed. The other day I got to visit bankruptcy court (and not as a client, thank god) - that was fun.

Mom is back from Mexico and we had a nice time reconnecting over lunch at Uno's and a walk in the woods, along the beautiful Merrimack River.

I just made an apple pie (with crumb topping), since Mom and her longtime friend Sandy are coming for dinner tomorrow. I'll be lunching with Laurel and Bumbers - it's my last day "off" this week. I am looking forward to regaining some of my own time when this assignment ends. It's easy to get wrapped up in the moments of the day and forget to take stock of what's happening inside. I don't know if other grieving people feel this, but I feel a sense of urgency or importance to feel what I'm feeling and let this new situation sit in my brain.

I have to forge a new life. That may sound dramatic to some of you. But to those of you who have lost a parent, I bet you understand. Everything has been tossed upside down and will never be "normal" again. We will all need to create a new normal.

Judy The Cat has just come round the hall, shaken the bell on her collar, and is thinking of asking for some food. I swear they eat all day long. Ever since we let them outside, they run around all day, up the trees, tripping their way down, along the fence, under the fence, through backyards, back through the hole in the fence, to the patio door, up the tree...you get the idea. I put out three pinecone bird feeders today (pinecones spread with peanut butter and then rolled in birdseed). I imagine they will attract birds tomorrow morning and that ought to drive the little kitties wild. They'll be hungry tomorrow night. Unless of course, they're full. Ahem.

Hope you are surviving your life. Hope you are getting a taste of beautiful Autumn - we are surrounded here and loving every minute of it. Very comforting, especially this year.

~Allison

This is a picture of Dad on the last day I saw him, August 9th; we were at the NH League of Craftsman's Fair. It was such a good day.